Womens Safety

For us to better understand the reality of violence against women, we first must shine a light on the many myths sourrounding it, as they bolster harmful stereotypes and blame the victim, contributing to barriers in creating meaningful change. By perpetuating such misconceptions, society minimises the seriousness of abuses and obstructs the path to a safer world for women.

Violence Against Women Myths

Below, I examine some of the most persistent myths about violence against women and explore the realities underlying each:

  • Myth: “Strangers are the greatest threat.”

Reality: Most women are attacked by someone they know. Studies consistently confirm that rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse are most often perpetrated by a family member, an intimate partner, or an acquaintance. While stranger attacks can and do occur, they are far less common. A 2018 study by researchers at Glasgow University, interviewing almost 1,000 rape survivors, revealed that more than 90% knew their attacker. Other statistics from organisations like RAINN and the CDC further confirm that the “stranger danger” myth should be discarded. This myth fosters a false sense of security and blinds people to dangers closer to home. Recognising this reality allows for discussions about societal efforts to prevent crimes, using approaches that address trust dynamics and manipulative actions common in personal relationships.

  • Myth: “Women’s clothing, behaviour, demeanour, or level of intoxication invites violence.”

Reality: No one invites violence, and responsibility always rests solely with the perpetrator. Blaming a survivor’s clothing or actions for a rape perpetuates rape culture and obstructs justice. What someone wears, how they behave, or whether they are intoxicated does not justify a perpetrator’s decision to commit violence.

Research has shown that victim-blaming discourages survivors from reporting assaults or seeking help. Public education campaigns must make it clear that violence is never the fault of the victim and that societal narratives should focus on holding perpetrators accountable.

  • Myth: “Abuse isn’t ‘real’ unless it involves physical harm.”

Reality: Abuse takes many forms beyond physical violence, including psychological, emotional, financial, and technological abuse. Coercive control, stalking, and tactics of isolation can be just as destructive and are often precursors to physical violence. These forms of non-physical abuse leave long-lasting psychological scars, affecting self-esteem, mental health, and the ability to trust others.

All forms of abuse must be acknowledged to provide comprehensive support systems for survivors and to improve understanding of the dynamics of violence.

  • Myth: “Violence against women is inevitable, part of human nature, and can never be eliminated.”

Reality: Violence is a learned behaviour, not an inherent part of human nature. It is fuelled by societal norms, cultural attitudes, and systemic inequalities. Where focused efforts exist, violence can be prevented. Effective prevention strategies address misogyny, promote gender equality, and support young men who have witnessed or experienced abuse, breaking the cycle of violence.

Accountability is essential. This includes thorough investigations by the police, sensitive prosecution of cases, and punitive sentences for perpetrators. Rebuilding trust in the justice system and dismantling patriarchal mindsets are equally critical.

  • Myth: “Marital rape isn’t real. A husband is entitled to sex in a marriage.”

Reality: In many countries, marital rape is recognised as a crime, defined by the lack of consent. Consent is required in all sexual relationships, including marriage. The belief that marriage grants unlimited access to a partner’s body stems from outdated patriarchal views, which deny women autonomy and agency.

Global advocacy continues to fight for legal protections against marital rape in regions where it remains unrecognised. Challenging this damaging myth reinforces the principle that all individuals have ownership over their own bodies.

  • Myth: “Domestic violence only happens in poor or uneducated families or within particular socio-economic or cultural groups.”

Reality: Domestic violence transcends class, culture, religion, and educational background. It can affect anyone, regardless of circumstances. While some groups may face additional barriers to support, no group is immune to the possibility of violence. 

Focusing solely on stereotypes about who experiences violence risks neglecting survivors from diverse backgrounds. Addressing abuse inclusively ensures more effective interventions.

Myth: “Women can avoid violence by making ‘better choices,’ such as staying sober, avoiding risky areas, or not going out alone.”

Reality: While personal awareness is important, this myth shifts the burden of safety onto women instead of holding perpetrators accountable. Women are attacked in all environments, regardless of their behaviour, dress, or personality. For instance, most sexual assaults occur in traditionally safe locations, such as homes or workplaces, often perpetrated by individuals known and trusted by the victim.

Ending violence requires a shift in focus, from scrutinising women’s choices to preventing perpetrators from committing acts of violence.

  • Myth: “Leaving an abusive relationship is easy. If a woman stays, it’s her choice.”

Reality: Leaving an abusive relationship is complex and often dangerous. Abusers use financial control, emotional manipulation, and threats to maintain power over their victims. In many cases, the risk of violence increases when a victim attempts to leave.

Additional barriers include fear of judgement, lack of support, concern for children’s safety, and shared financial responsibilities. Providing survivors with access to safe shelters, legal resources, and emotional support is essential to enabling them to leave abusive situations safely. Please read my dedicated blog, if you would like to help a loved one to escape domestic abuse safely.

  • Myth: “Most perpetrators are ‘monsters’ or mentally ill and can easily be recognised as dangerous individuals.”

Reality: Most offenders appear normal to those around them. Many are charming, well-liked, and hold respected positions in their communities, and others are someone else’s best friend, favourite son, or kind neighbour, which helps them manipulate victims and evade suspicion. Violence against women is about power and control, not mental illness.

This myth perpetuates the stereotype that abusers are easily identifiable, leading to abuse being overlooked in everyday contexts. Challenging this misconception promotes vigilance in all settings.

  • Myth: “Women exaggerate or fabricate allegations of violence for attention or revenge.”

Reality: False reports of violence are extremely rare. Studies show they constitute a small percentage of reported cases. In contrast, most rapes go unreported due to stigma, fear of retaliation, or disbelief. This myth undermines survivors’ credibility and creates additional barriers to justice.

  • Myth: “If a woman doesn’t fight back, it means she consented.”

Reality: The absence of resistance does not imply consent. Many survivors experience a freeze response during an assault due to fear or shock, a very natural experience known as tonic immobility. Understanding trauma means rejecting this myth and recognising the necessity of active, explicit consent.

Each of these myths contributes to a culture that normalises violence, makes it harder for survivors to seek help, and allows perpetrators to escape accountability. By dismantling these misconceptions, we can foster a culture of support for survivors, accountability for offenders, and safety and equality for women. Ending violence against women requires everyone to challenge harmful stereotypes, question societal norms, and take a stand.

Please also consider reading my article Trust Your Intuition: A Woman’s Greatest Ally for Personal Safety

For wider information on the many violence against women myths and 515 pages of realistic women’s safety tips, I recommend referring to my book entitled NEVER A VICTIM. This is a trauma-informed approach to empowering women of all ages, based on over three decades of research and survivor insights.