Women's Safety Information

Dating nightmares not only include disease, unwanted pregnancy, rape and domestic abuse but assaults on your self-esteem and emotional and mental well-being. Most of the deep scars we have from past relationships are not physical. So knowing the how to pick the right people to date is vital! We all have stories about the date that went bad or the guy who never called back even though we really hit it off. We wonder what we did wrong, what we could have done differently, why he didn’t like us. Was it something we said or did? Was it what we wore or that we were too forward or not forward enough? What if he was just the wrong person? What if what we did wrong was pick him to go out with in the first place? Or what if we didn’t pick him at all but rather went because he picked us? Is that dangerous? Absolutely, and I’ll tell you how to avoid it!

Three Safe Dating Tips For Women:

Healthy Self-Esteem – you are already complete so looking for someone to “complete you” is just a romantic (yet pathetic) line in a movie. Trust Your Gut Feelings - these will always lead you the right way and it doesn’t matter if they make sense at the time or not. Personal Boundaries - establish and enforce these or you will continue down the road of dating nightmares!

Doing one, two or all three of these will change your dating life (and non-dating life) tremendously! I know because I’ve been there and my poor decisions took me down the road of rape and domestic violence. Pay attention to someone who’s been there so you never have to be! Women, defend and protect your mental and emotional well-being and prevent dating nightmares by dating the right men instead of just “men” and share these safe dating tips with women you care about.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Dating nightmares are seen as part of dating game but how many of us are aware of their lasting affect on our self-esteem? Avoiding pregnancy, disease, stalkers, and physical abuse are obvious goals in dating but we also must protect our self-esteem. How many times have we dated someone not because we picked them but because they picked us? The tips to avoiding dating nightmares to protect your mental and emotional well-being are quite simple, though simple things can still be challenging.

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 1 – Healthy Self-Esteem

You must have healthy self-esteem prior to dating or you will attract insecure men with low self-esteem. This creates an insecure, jealous couple dependent upon the stability the other person who doesn’t have it to begin with much less, extra to share.

The Result: A tumultuous relationship and an emotionally and mentally draining and damaging breakup equating to lower self-esteem for both involved. By not insuring your healthy self-esteem prior to dating, you have just instigated an attack on your own mental and emotional states!

I truly believe that a healthy couple is created by two complete individuals coming together as a third entity. That way, when you are apart, you are “part of something” not “half of something.”

The Solution: Take the time to become the person you would fall in love with in order to attract the same caliber of man to you. Make sure you are happy with who you are first and foremost. It may take months or even years but how much time have we all invested in dating the wrong men? Doesn’t it make more sense to spend time creating a healthy relationship before you ask someone to join it?

This may seem backwards because we are used to picking a person (who makes us happy) to date and then creating a relationship but that has brought us a 50+% divorce rate! No one can make you happy. Happiness is within you. I loved “Jerry McGuire” too but the “you complete me” line was Hollywood! So many people are looking for someone to complete them. If you do not feel complete all by yourself, saddling someone else with your insecurities is a trip down Nightmare Avenue and you will never become a whole person!

If you attract men who are incomplete and looking for someone to complete them, remember that you attract what you are and you need to work on yourself not them. Stop dating and build your self-esteem. When you feel like you don’t even need a man, that is when you are healthy enough to have an excellent relationship.

My poor decisions took me down the road of rape and domestic violence and they stemmed from my lack of healthy self-esteem. You don’t want that to happen to you, your friends or your daughters, do you? Then take it from me, someone who’s been there, healthy self-esteem and loving who you are will give you a whole new life! The choices in men will be fewer because there are less of them with healthy self-esteem as well but quality always trumps quantity.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” my top safety tip for dating women is you must have healthy self-esteem to avoid dating nightmares!

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Dating nightmares and other weird or dangerous situations can be prevented by trusting survival instincts you were born with, your gut feelings. Many women go down Dating Nightmare Boulevard because instead of picking someone to date, they just date whoever picks them. I ignored bad gut feelings prior to dating two men several years apart. One of them raped me and I ended up in a domestic violence relationship with the other one for two and a half years, narrowly escaping with my life. Let me share what I’ve learned about gut feelings with regard to dating so you can be safer than I was. These tips to avoid dating nightmares are simple but not always easy:

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 2 – Trust Your Gut Feelings

You have good or bad gut feelings about every person, place and situation in your life. The terms, “I had a feeling,” and “I just couldn’t put my finger on it,” are all about gut feelings. Housed in our stomach or solar plexus area (hence the term “gut feelings”), our emotional center, they warn us of danger and give us warm, fuzzy feelings if things are safe.

When people cross their arms in front of their chest to look tough, they are actually feeling vulnerable and protecting their emotional center. Next time, they won’t look so tough to you, will they? Challenge someone on something and see how long it takes them to cross their arms.

Fine-Tuning Gut Feelings

Who you should and should not date will be extremely clear as you fine-tune your gut feelings. Pay attention to how you feel when you speak with someone, go somewhere, experience something. Notice if your stomach area feels tight, relaxed, tense, upset or warm and fuzzy. You don’t necessarily have to follow all of them but when you feel a particularly strong gut feeling, you’ll know the importance of taking it seriously. As you acknowledge these feelings, you’ll be much better at reading people and knowing if they are a good fit for you while avoiding dating nightmares.

Dating & Gut Feelings

Since most people are on their best behavior on a first date and unsure of how long they can keep it up, first dates are a circus for chaotic feelings. If your gut feelings are fine-tuned (which may only take a few weeks with dedication), you will feel the true sense of who someone is instead of the chaos.

Glossing over gut feelings in the dating world is an epidemic. Because we want to go out or love what the other person brings to the table we tend to ignore negative gut feelings. The more you get to know someone you had an initial bad gut feeling about, the deeper you go into an unhealthy relationship. Remember, injuries to your self-esteem (mental and emotional well-being) are longer lasting than bruises. Unfortunately, I speak from experience.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” one of my best safety tips for dating women to avoid dating nightmares is trust your gut feelings!

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

If you are anything like me, you have probably heard about and or had your share of dating nightmares! It is ironic that we justify, make excuses for and gloss over bad behavior from a date when we would not accept the same treatment from someone else, yet this is the person we hope to spend our lives with. I developed healthy self-esteem, learned to trust my gut feelings and establish and enforce personal boundaries only after I was raped on a date and years later, entered into a domestic violence relationship. Read on if you would like to be safer than I was and avoid dating nightmares! Here are my top three tips for women who are dating:

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 3 – Personal Boundaries

Establishing and enforcing personal boundaries entails determining what is acceptable and unacceptable to you and standing your ground when your boundaries are threatened. When you hear someone say, “She got in my space,” or “He crossed the line,” the space is their personal space and the line is their boundary line.

Funny enough, if you ask the person who made the above statements, it is doubtful they would know anything about personal boundaries but rather spoke from a feeling they got.

Dating and Personal Boundaries

We would not ordinarily allow the things we do when we are dating. We seem so focused on making the pieces fit that we ignore the fact that they may be pieces to two different puzzles. Since we teach people how to treat us, if your date speaks to you disrespectfully or makes jokes at your expense and you don’t stop him, you just told him it’s okay. You have just welcomed verbal, mental, emotional abuse and a disrespectful relationship. If, however, you let him know the first time he does it that it is unacceptable to you, he will either leave or change his behavior and have more respect for you. Which would you prefer? If you prefer peace of mind, respect and better guys to date, read on.

Establishing Personal Boundaries

Picture yourself inside a giant bagel (or donut if you prefer). Visualize a line 18-24 inches from your body all the way around you. This is the outside of your bagel and the proverbial line in “He crossed the line.” See the space between you and the outside line of the bagel? This is your personal space or the proverbial space as in “She got in my space.”

Permission Granted

You get to protect and control your personal space. You decide what is acceptable to you (between you and the line) and what is unacceptable to you (outside the line). Examples of acceptable dating things might be respectful communication, men who have a lot of friends, non-smokers and healthy activity dates. Unacceptable things might be disrespectful communication, men who bad-mouth their exes, smokers and bar dates.

Congrats! Now you have begun to establish your personal boundaries. Continue and include people, places and situations. Do this with a clear, unemotional head. Use your gut feelings.

Enforcement of Personal Boundaries

Decide what you will do when an unacceptable person or situation nears your boundary line and personal space. Will you remove yourself from the situation, say something in a non-emotional way or respond physically either to protect or defend your space? Determine how you will handle the unacceptables before something happens. That way, if you are in an emotional moment, you can think back to what you decided (with a clear, unemotional head) to do and follow through.

Can you see the tremendous value in establishing and enforcing personal boundaries? Children, teens and adults need to begin immediately. Combining personal boundaries and trusting gut feelings can make you and your loved ones up to 95% safer from creeps and criminals.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” one of my top three tips for women who are dating to avoid dating nightmares is to establish and enforce personal boundaries.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Dating nightmares not only include disease, unwanted pregnancy, rape and domestic abuse but assaults on your self-esteem and emotional and mental well-being. Most of the deep scars we have from past relationships are not physical. So knowing the how to pick the right people to date is vital! We all have stories about the date that went bad or the guy who never called back even though we really hit it off. We wonder what we did wrong, what we could have done differently, why he didn’t like us. Was it something we said or did? Was it what we wore or that we were too forward or not forward enough? What if he was just the wrong person? What if what we did wrong was pick him to go out with in the first place? Or what if we didn’t pick him at all but rather went because he picked us? Is that dangerous? Absolutely, and I’ll tell you how to avoid it!

Three Safe Dating Tips For Women:

Healthy Self-Esteem – you are already complete so looking for someone to “complete you” is just a romantic (yet pathetic) line in a movie. Trust Your Gut Feelings - these will always lead you the right way and it doesn’t matter if they make sense at the time or not. Personal Boundaries - establish and enforce these or you will continue down the road of dating nightmares!

Doing one, two or all three of these will change your dating life (and non-dating life) tremendously! I know because I’ve been there and my poor decisions took me down the road of rape and domestic violence. Pay attention to someone who’s been there so you never have to be! Women, defend and protect your mental and emotional well-being and prevent dating nightmares by dating the right men instead of just “men” and share these safe dating tips with women you care about.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Dating nightmares and other weird or dangerous situations can be prevented by trusting survival instincts you were born with, your gut feelings. Many women go down Dating Nightmare Boulevard because instead of picking someone to date, they just date whoever picks them. I ignored bad gut feelings prior to dating two men several years apart. One of them raped me and I ended up in a domestic violence relationship with the other one for two and a half years, narrowly escaping with my life. Let me share what I’ve learned about gut feelings with regard to dating so you can be safer than I was. These tips to avoid dating nightmares are simple but not always easy:

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 2 – Trust Your Gut Feelings

You have good or bad gut feelings about every person, place and situation in your life. The terms, “I had a feeling,” and “I just couldn’t put my finger on it,” are all about gut feelings. Housed in our stomach or solar plexus area (hence the term “gut feelings”), our emotional center, they warn us of danger and give us warm, fuzzy feelings if things are safe.

When people cross their arms in front of their chest to look tough, they are actually feeling vulnerable and protecting their emotional center. Next time, they won’t look so tough to you, will they? Challenge someone on something and see how long it takes them to cross their arms.

Fine-Tuning Gut Feelings

Who you should and should not date will be extremely clear as you fine-tune your gut feelings. Pay attention to how you feel when you speak with someone, go somewhere, experience something. Notice if your stomach area feels tight, relaxed, tense, upset or warm and fuzzy. You don’t necessarily have to follow all of them but when you feel a particularly strong gut feeling, you’ll know the importance of taking it seriously. As you acknowledge these feelings, you’ll be much better at reading people and knowing if they are a good fit for you while avoiding dating nightmares.

Dating & Gut Feelings

Since most people are on their best behavior on a first date and unsure of how long they can keep it up, first dates are a circus for chaotic feelings. If your gut feelings are fine-tuned (which may only take a few weeks with dedication), you will feel the true sense of who someone is instead of the chaos.

Glossing over gut feelings in the dating world is an epidemic. Because we want to go out or love what the other person brings to the table we tend to ignore negative gut feelings. The more you get to know someone you had an initial bad gut feeling about, the deeper you go into an unhealthy relationship. Remember, injuries to your self-esteem (mental and emotional well-being) are longer lasting than bruises. Unfortunately, I speak from experience.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” one of my best safety tips for dating women to avoid dating nightmares is trust your gut feelings!

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

If you are anything like me, you have probably heard about and or had your share of dating nightmares! It is ironic that we justify, make excuses for and gloss over bad behavior from a date when we would not accept the same treatment from someone else, yet this is the person we hope to spend our lives with. I developed healthy self-esteem, learned to trust my gut feelings and establish and enforce personal boundaries only after I was raped on a date and years later, entered into a domestic violence relationship. Read on if you would like to be safer than I was and avoid dating nightmares! Here are my top three tips for women who are dating:

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 3 – Personal Boundaries

Establishing and enforcing personal boundaries entails determining what is acceptable and unacceptable to you and standing your ground when your boundaries are threatened. When you hear someone say, “She got in my space,” or “He crossed the line,” the space is their personal space and the line is their boundary line.

Funny enough, if you ask the person who made the above statements, it is doubtful they would know anything about personal boundaries but rather spoke from a feeling they got.

Dating and Personal Boundaries

We would not ordinarily allow the things we do when we are dating. We seem so focused on making the pieces fit that we ignore the fact that they may be pieces to two different puzzles. Since we teach people how to treat us, if your date speaks to you disrespectfully or makes jokes at your expense and you don’t stop him, you just told him it’s okay. You have just welcomed verbal, mental, emotional abuse and a disrespectful relationship. If, however, you let him know the first time he does it that it is unacceptable to you, he will either leave or change his behavior and have more respect for you. Which would you prefer? If you prefer peace of mind, respect and better guys to date, read on.

Establishing Personal Boundaries

Picture yourself inside a giant bagel (or donut if you prefer). Visualize a line 18-24 inches from your body all the way around you. This is the outside of your bagel and the proverbial line in “He crossed the line.” See the space between you and the outside line of the bagel? This is your personal space or the proverbial space as in “She got in my space.”

Permission Granted

You get to protect and control your personal space. You decide what is acceptable to you (between you and the line) and what is unacceptable to you (outside the line). Examples of acceptable dating things might be respectful communication, men who have a lot of friends, non-smokers and healthy activity dates. Unacceptable things might be disrespectful communication, men who bad-mouth their exes, smokers and bar dates.

Congrats! Now you have begun to establish your personal boundaries. Continue and include people, places and situations. Do this with a clear, unemotional head. Use your gut feelings.

Enforcement of Personal Boundaries

Decide what you will do when an unacceptable person or situation nears your boundary line and personal space. Will you remove yourself from the situation, say something in a non-emotional way or respond physically either to protect or defend your space? Determine how you will handle the unacceptables before something happens. That way, if you are in an emotional moment, you can think back to what you decided (with a clear, unemotional head) to do and follow through.

Can you see the tremendous value in establishing and enforcing personal boundaries? Children, teens and adults need to begin immediately. Combining personal boundaries and trusting gut feelings can make you and your loved ones up to 95% safer from creeps and criminals.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” one of my top three tips for women who are dating to avoid dating nightmares is to establish and enforce personal boundaries.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Dating nightmares are seen as part of dating game but how many of us are aware of their lasting affect on our self-esteem? Avoiding pregnancy, disease, stalkers, and physical abuse are obvious goals in dating but we also must protect our self-esteem. How many times have we dated someone not because we picked them but because they picked us? The tips to avoiding dating nightmares to protect your mental and emotional well-being are quite simple, though simple things can still be challenging.

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 1 – Healthy Self-Esteem

You must have healthy self-esteem prior to dating or you will attract insecure men with low self-esteem. This creates an insecure, jealous couple dependent upon the stability the other person who doesn’t have it to begin with much less, extra to share.

The Result: A tumultuous relationship and an emotionally and mentally draining and damaging breakup equating to lower self-esteem for both involved. By not insuring your healthy self-esteem prior to dating, you have just instigated an attack on your own mental and emotional states!

I truly believe that a healthy couple is created by two complete individuals coming together as a third entity. That way, when you are apart, you are “part of something” not “half of something.”

The Solution: Take the time to become the person you would fall in love with in order to attract the same caliber of man to you. Make sure you are happy with who you are first and foremost. It may take months or even years but how much time have we all invested in dating the wrong men? Doesn’t it make more sense to spend time creating a healthy relationship before you ask someone to join it?

This may seem backwards because we are used to picking a person (who makes us happy) to date and then creating a relationship but that has brought us a 50+% divorce rate! No one can make you happy. Happiness is within you. I loved “Jerry McGuire” too but the “you complete me” line was Hollywood! So many people are looking for someone to complete them. If you do not feel complete all by yourself, saddling someone else with your insecurities is a trip down Nightmare Avenue and you will never become a whole person!

If you attract men who are incomplete and looking for someone to complete them, remember that you attract what you are and you need to work on yourself not them. Stop dating and build your self-esteem. When you feel like you don’t even need a man, that is when you are healthy enough to have an excellent relationship.

My poor decisions took me down the road of rape and domestic violence and they stemmed from my lack of healthy self-esteem. You don’t want that to happen to you, your friends or your daughters, do you? Then take it from me, someone who’s been there, healthy self-esteem and loving who you are will give you a whole new life! The choices in men will be fewer because there are less of them with healthy self-esteem as well but quality always trumps quantity.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” my top safety tip for dating women is you must have healthy self-esteem to avoid dating nightmares!

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Dating nightmares and other weird or dangerous situations can be prevented by trusting survival instincts you were born with, your gut feelings. Many women go down Dating Nightmare Boulevard because instead of picking someone to date, they just date whoever picks them. I ignored bad gut feelings prior to dating two men several years apart. One of them raped me and I ended up in a domestic violence relationship with the other one for two and a half years, narrowly escaping with my life. Let me share what I’ve learned about gut feelings with regard to dating so you can be safer than I was. These tips to avoid dating nightmares are simple but not always easy:

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 2 – Trust Your Gut Feelings

You have good or bad gut feelings about every person, place and situation in your life. The terms, “I had a feeling,” and “I just couldn’t put my finger on it,” are all about gut feelings. Housed in our stomach or solar plexus area (hence the term “gut feelings”), our emotional center, they warn us of danger and give us warm, fuzzy feelings if things are safe.

When people cross their arms in front of their chest to look tough, they are actually feeling vulnerable and protecting their emotional center. Next time, they won’t look so tough to you, will they? Challenge someone on something and see how long it takes them to cross their arms.

Fine-Tuning Gut Feelings

Who you should and should not date will be extremely clear as you fine-tune your gut feelings. Pay attention to how you feel when you speak with someone, go somewhere, experience something. Notice if your stomach area feels tight, relaxed, tense, upset or warm and fuzzy. You don’t necessarily have to follow all of them but when you feel a particularly strong gut feeling, you’ll know the importance of taking it seriously. As you acknowledge these feelings, you’ll be much better at reading people and knowing if they are a good fit for you while avoiding dating nightmares.

Dating & Gut Feelings

Since most people are on their best behavior on a first date and unsure of how long they can keep it up, first dates are a circus for chaotic feelings. If your gut feelings are fine-tuned (which may only take a few weeks with dedication), you will feel the true sense of who someone is instead of the chaos.

Glossing over gut feelings in the dating world is an epidemic. Because we want to go out or love what the other person brings to the table we tend to ignore negative gut feelings. The more you get to know someone you had an initial bad gut feeling about, the deeper you go into an unhealthy relationship. Remember, injuries to your self-esteem (mental and emotional well-being) are longer lasting than bruises. Unfortunately, I speak from experience.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” one of my best safety tips for dating women to avoid dating nightmares is trust your gut feelings!

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

If you are anything like me, you have probably heard about and or had your share of dating nightmares! It is ironic that we justify, make excuses for and gloss over bad behavior from a date when we would not accept the same treatment from someone else, yet this is the person we hope to spend our lives with. I developed healthy self-esteem, learned to trust my gut feelings and establish and enforce personal boundaries only after I was raped on a date and years later, entered into a domestic violence relationship. Read on if you would like to be safer than I was and avoid dating nightmares! Here are my top three tips for women who are dating:

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 3 – Personal Boundaries

Establishing and enforcing personal boundaries entails determining what is acceptable and unacceptable to you and standing your ground when your boundaries are threatened. When you hear someone say, “She got in my space,” or “He crossed the line,” the space is their personal space and the line is their boundary line.

Funny enough, if you ask the person who made the above statements, it is doubtful they would know anything about personal boundaries but rather spoke from a feeling they got.

Dating and Personal Boundaries

We would not ordinarily allow the things we do when we are dating. We seem so focused on making the pieces fit that we ignore the fact that they may be pieces to two different puzzles. Since we teach people how to treat us, if your date speaks to you disrespectfully or makes jokes at your expense and you don’t stop him, you just told him it’s okay. You have just welcomed verbal, mental, emotional abuse and a disrespectful relationship. If, however, you let him know the first time he does it that it is unacceptable to you, he will either leave or change his behavior and have more respect for you. Which would you prefer? If you prefer peace of mind, respect and better guys to date, read on.

Establishing Personal Boundaries

Picture yourself inside a giant bagel (or donut if you prefer). Visualize a line 18-24 inches from your body all the way around you. This is the outside of your bagel and the proverbial line in “He crossed the line.” See the space between you and the outside line of the bagel? This is your personal space or the proverbial space as in “She got in my space.”

Permission Granted

You get to protect and control your personal space. You decide what is acceptable to you (between you and the line) and what is unacceptable to you (outside the line). Examples of acceptable dating things might be respectful communication, men who have a lot of friends, non-smokers and healthy activity dates. Unacceptable things might be disrespectful communication, men who bad-mouth their exes, smokers and bar dates.

Congrats! Now you have begun to establish your personal boundaries. Continue and include people, places and situations. Do this with a clear, unemotional head. Use your gut feelings.

Enforcement of Personal Boundaries

Decide what you will do when an unacceptable person or situation nears your boundary line and personal space. Will you remove yourself from the situation, say something in a non-emotional way or respond physically either to protect or defend your space? Determine how you will handle the unacceptables before something happens. That way, if you are in an emotional moment, you can think back to what you decided (with a clear, unemotional head) to do and follow through.

Can you see the tremendous value in establishing and enforcing personal boundaries? Children, teens and adults need to begin immediately. Combining personal boundaries and trusting gut feelings can make you and your loved ones up to 95% safer from creeps and criminals.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” one of my top three tips for women who are dating to avoid dating nightmares is to establish and enforce personal boundaries.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author: