Women's Safety Information

As women, we are often responsible for teaching kids and teens about personal safety and there is one word that must deleted from our vocabulary to do it effectively. This one word has been used so often it is a habit for most of us; a habit that doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t even absorb into the subconscious mind, which is why it gets people killed every day. That one word is “don’t.”


“Don’t” is one of the most dangerous words in the english language and puts people of all ages in jeopardy every hour of every day.

The reason for the danger of this word is that the subconscious mind (the mind tells our body what to do) does not understand it because it can’t visualize not doing something. It can visualize doing something else, which is why we must express what TO do instead. This fact is serious enough to be taught by every teacher and should be a top story on every news broadcast but instead, “don’t” is used relentlessly by the very people who are baffled by its ineffectiveness.

Have you ever wondered why you told someone not to do something and they did it anyway? Did you think they were trying to make you mad or purposely go against your wishes? Maybe, but chances are much higher that they got a picture in their mind of doing exactly what you told them not to do. Negative words like “don’t,” “not,” “no” and “never” cannot be visualized and so they are ignored.

Danger: the subconscious mind takes in everything as if it is the truth; as if it is a viable option.

So, as we teach kids and teens (and other adults, for that matter) about safety, it is vital that we teach what TO do instead of what not to do. This cuts the communication in half and only provides the correct and safest option.

Scary Example: What if your 10 year old learns 10 things about a specific dangerous situation and eight of the ten things are what not to do while only two of the ten things are what TO do? All ten things learned enter the subconscious mind as viable options. That means, should that situation arise, your child only has a 20% chance of choosing the right thing to do.

So when you teach kids and teens about personal safety, make sure and focus on what TO do and delete the word “don’t” from your vocabulary.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

We find ourselves in unexpected, sometimes dangerous, situations and oftentimes the best way to handle it comes to mind after it’s over. But is there one simple question to ask ourselves that gives us the proper way to handle everything while it is happening? Yes.

Whether you are being called from work to pick up your sick child at school, get invited to something you really don’t want to attend or end up in a bank during a robbery, you need to know how to keep your cool and handle the situation correctly.

The most important question to ask yourself in any situation is this:

“What is the best way to handle this situation?”

The reason this is the best question is because your mind will answer whatever you ask it. Your mind is the most powerful of computers yet, if you’re like the rest of us, you are more accustomed to searching the internet (created by someone’s mind, incidentally) than checking in with own your built-in computer.

The key is to ask good, positive questions to get good, empowering answers. For example, your child gets sick at school and you need to leave work in the middle of an important project with a fast approaching deadline. Your first thoughts are a flurry of questions; none of which will help you.

“How did he get sick only an hour into the school day when he was fine this morning?”

“How am I going to meet this deadline now?”


“What is my boss going to say when I just took time off yesterday for a doctor’s appointment?

“If my son is still sick tomorrow, who will I get to stay with him or will my boss let me work on this from home and what if I get sick too, then how will I get my work done…?

Although these questions won’t help you, they will certainly raise your stress level because contemplating their answers inspires new disempowering questions. What you need to do in this situation is go pick up your son, period. The other questions can all be answered later and, amazingly enough, by asking the same simple question: “What is the best way to handle this situation?”

So, if you’re in a bank robbery and you are one of the 9 out of 10 people who gasp and hold their breath, freezing up under stress. Simply asking the one simple question: “What is the best way to handle this situation?” You may get an answer like, “Exhale.” It’s simple but it will allow your adrenaline to circulate and that allows you to think clearly. Thinking clearly may entail asking that same simple question 15 more times during the ordeal but it will always give you the best answer and course of action.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Whether we are traveling to visit family members, purchasing gifts we can’t afford, attending parties out of obligation or wishing we had loved ones to enjoy the holidays with; holidays represent an emotionally charged time of year for everyone. We know that the traditional view of family members enjoying one another isn’t always the way it happens. In fact, the majority of family get togethers are emotional and stressful so realize, if yours is like that, you’re not alone.

Since attacks may be verbal, mental, emotional or physical, we all need some Holiday Safety Secrets to make this time of year safer all around, don’t you agree?

Holiday Safety Secret – Verbal

Realize that a comment made to you or about you is always about the person making it, not about you. It is either a positive comment coming from a place of admiration or a negative comment coming from a place of insecurity.

Knowing this helps you to take a deep breath and either say, “Thank you,” to a nice comment or say nothing to a ban one, considering the source.

Holiday Safety Secret – Mental

People who know us also know “which buttons to push” if they want to mentally attack. For example: a coworker looking up and down you and then snickering will likely send any one of us into the ladies room to check our makeup, hair and outfit. Realize (you’ll see a trend here) a mental attack is all about the attacker who is trying to control the “victim” by inspiring uncertainty because he or she feels out of control of their own life at the moment of attack.

Holiday Safety Secret – Emotional

Make a list of who you feel good around and who you feel drained by. Invest time only with those you feel good around; that is your gut feeling telling you who is safe and who isn’t (emotionally, mentally and or physically). If you must work with people you would not ordinarily choose to spend time with, realize that you have a choice to either absorb their negative energy or “put up your mirrors.” Putting up mirrors consists of visualizing yourself with mirrors around you facing out. When someone sends negative energy your way, the mirrors reflect it back to them 10 fold and you are safe emotionally. I learned this from an Indian Medicine Man 25 years ago and have used it successfully ever since.

Holiday Safety Secrets – Physical (much more info about each of these available)

Remember that thieves and other types of attackers love the holidays because we are all distracted and make for easy targets. Stay OFF your phone when walking in a parking lot and have it in or on your clothing instead of in your purse. If a thief wants your purse give it up quickly and count your blessing that all you had was a thief. Use confident body language (head high, shoulders back, looking side to side) to repel attackers. Carry a very small pouch inside your clothes with ID, cash or one credit card. Cover the key pad when entering your PIN at checkout. Check in and under your vehicle before entering and lock the door before it is even closed. Remember that the cover of darkness allows many more attacks this time of year.
Wrap Up Holidays can be fun and happy when you protect your personal space and emotions. Remember that safety often has to do with swallowing your pride. Let the snide comment go without a fight and let your purse go to avoid escalating an attack. It will never be fair that other take from us but we can attract safety instead of attackers with these simple tips.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Dating nightmares and other weird or dangerous situations can be prevented by trusting survival instincts you were born with, your gut feelings. Many women go down Dating Nightmare Boulevard because instead of picking someone to date, they just date whoever picks them. I ignored bad gut feelings prior to dating two men several years apart. One of them raped me and I ended up in a domestic violence relationship with the other one for two and a half years, narrowly escaping with my life. Let me share what I’ve learned about gut feelings with regard to dating so you can be safer than I was. These tips to avoid dating nightmares are simple but not always easy:

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 2 – Trust Your Gut Feelings

You have good or bad gut feelings about every person, place and situation in your life. The terms, “I had a feeling,” and “I just couldn’t put my finger on it,” are all about gut feelings. Housed in our stomach or solar plexus area (hence the term “gut feelings”), our emotional center, they warn us of danger and give us warm, fuzzy feelings if things are safe.

When people cross their arms in front of their chest to look tough, they are actually feeling vulnerable and protecting their emotional center. Next time, they won’t look so tough to you, will they? Challenge someone on something and see how long it takes them to cross their arms.

Fine-Tuning Gut Feelings

Who you should and should not date will be extremely clear as you fine-tune your gut feelings. Pay attention to how you feel when you speak with someone, go somewhere, experience something. Notice if your stomach area feels tight, relaxed, tense, upset or warm and fuzzy. You don’t necessarily have to follow all of them but when you feel a particularly strong gut feeling, you’ll know the importance of taking it seriously. As you acknowledge these feelings, you’ll be much better at reading people and knowing if they are a good fit for you while avoiding dating nightmares.

Dating & Gut Feelings

Since most people are on their best behavior on a first date and unsure of how long they can keep it up, first dates are a circus for chaotic feelings. If your gut feelings are fine-tuned (which may only take a few weeks with dedication), you will feel the true sense of who someone is instead of the chaos.

Glossing over gut feelings in the dating world is an epidemic. Because we want to go out or love what the other person brings to the table we tend to ignore negative gut feelings. The more you get to know someone you had an initial bad gut feeling about, the deeper you go into an unhealthy relationship. Remember, injuries to your self-esteem (mental and emotional well-being) are longer lasting than bruises. Unfortunately, I speak from experience.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” one of my best safety tips for dating women to avoid dating nightmares is trust your gut feelings!

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

If you are anything like me, you have probably heard about and or had your share of dating nightmares! It is ironic that we justify, make excuses for and gloss over bad behavior from a date when we would not accept the same treatment from someone else, yet this is the person we hope to spend our lives with. I developed healthy self-esteem, learned to trust my gut feelings and establish and enforce personal boundaries only after I was raped on a date and years later, entered into a domestic violence relationship. Read on if you would like to be safer than I was and avoid dating nightmares! Here are my top three tips for women who are dating:

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 3 – Personal Boundaries

Establishing and enforcing personal boundaries entails determining what is acceptable and unacceptable to you and standing your ground when your boundaries are threatened. When you hear someone say, “She got in my space,” or “He crossed the line,” the space is their personal space and the line is their boundary line.

Funny enough, if you ask the person who made the above statements, it is doubtful they would know anything about personal boundaries but rather spoke from a feeling they got.

Dating and Personal Boundaries

We would not ordinarily allow the things we do when we are dating. We seem so focused on making the pieces fit that we ignore the fact that they may be pieces to two different puzzles. Since we teach people how to treat us, if your date speaks to you disrespectfully or makes jokes at your expense and you don’t stop him, you just told him it’s okay. You have just welcomed verbal, mental, emotional abuse and a disrespectful relationship. If, however, you let him know the first time he does it that it is unacceptable to you, he will either leave or change his behavior and have more respect for you. Which would you prefer? If you prefer peace of mind, respect and better guys to date, read on.

Establishing Personal Boundaries

Picture yourself inside a giant bagel (or donut if you prefer). Visualize a line 18-24 inches from your body all the way around you. This is the outside of your bagel and the proverbial line in “He crossed the line.” See the space between you and the outside line of the bagel? This is your personal space or the proverbial space as in “She got in my space.”

Permission Granted

You get to protect and control your personal space. You decide what is acceptable to you (between you and the line) and what is unacceptable to you (outside the line). Examples of acceptable dating things might be respectful communication, men who have a lot of friends, non-smokers and healthy activity dates. Unacceptable things might be disrespectful communication, men who bad-mouth their exes, smokers and bar dates.

Congrats! Now you have begun to establish your personal boundaries. Continue and include people, places and situations. Do this with a clear, unemotional head. Use your gut feelings.

Enforcement of Personal Boundaries

Decide what you will do when an unacceptable person or situation nears your boundary line and personal space. Will you remove yourself from the situation, say something in a non-emotional way or respond physically either to protect or defend your space? Determine how you will handle the unacceptables before something happens. That way, if you are in an emotional moment, you can think back to what you decided (with a clear, unemotional head) to do and follow through.

Can you see the tremendous value in establishing and enforcing personal boundaries? Children, teens and adults need to begin immediately. Combining personal boundaries and trusting gut feelings can make you and your loved ones up to 95% safer from creeps and criminals.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” one of my top three tips for women who are dating to avoid dating nightmares is to establish and enforce personal boundaries.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Hand bags are such a fashion statement and we, as women, always have plenty to fill even the largest of bags. But as we carry our fashion statements and line up for sales on the bag we fell in love with, we need to be conscious of the statement we are making to those more interested in snatching them than admiring them.

Why is a larger bag a better purse-snatching target? Obviously, there are thought to be more valuable items in a roomier bag.

After all, we can carry our:

iPod Cell phone Portable DVD player Portable GPS Small laptop Cash Credit Cards Checkbooks and many other things a smaller bag will not allow
Benefits of Small Purses

You always know what you have because you have to clean it out often No need replace expensive make up that went missing in a larger bag No lost receipts Too small to take many credit cards, lessening the loss and hassle if stolen Too small to take checkbooks, which are oh, so easy for thieves to use immediately Absence of shoulder and back/neck pain often accompanying a larger bag Fewer chiropractic visits Easy to set in lap at restaurant or hang onto in a club Streamlines the look Projects simplicity and low-maintenance to men Ease of finding ringing cell phone in time to answer Ease of finding car keys and an excellent purse-snatcher repellent

If attacked by a purse snatcher, thief or mugger, the best thing to do is give up your material possessions. Nothing you own is worth risking your life for. However, if you are still paying on the $1,200 for the bag the creep wants, it may be challenging to give it up, which could cost you your life.

So keep in mind that when it comes to purses and personal safety, size does matter to thieves and women.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Fellow women, ask yourself, “What is in my wallet?” knowing that several crimes can take place from just one stolen wallet. Of course you probably have a drivers license and credit card(s), cash, etc. But do you actually know what you would lose if your wallet was stolen this minute?

Wallet Safety Tips:

Photocopy the front and back of every card in your wallet. Keep the copy in a very safe, yet accessible place. Optional: Hand deliver a copy to a close, trusted friend or family member who you would call in an emergency.
Hour One Is Critical

The first hour is crucial when your personal information has been lost or stolen. The emergency numbers on the backs of your credit cards, etc. are important for you to access quickly. Attackers are known for first filling up their gas tanks and then going on wild shopping sprees after stealing credit cards. This is common in the first hour and that is why you need those numbers handy.

The reason for the option of giving a copy to a trusted someone is that if you were to become missing, all of those account numbers can be tracked that much easier. Remember to hand deliver this info as email and text messages are not secure.

Identity Theft Prevention

It is always preferable to have a good identity theft prevention company on your side. There is plenty of information in your wallet to enable this crime to take hold of your good name and the life you have built. Many identity theft victims’ identity is never restored completely. Just imagine that someone has purchased a house or vehicle with your name and credit and you are the one left to prove that you are the real you!

I tell the story of my own identity being stolen in my TeleSeminar series. Fortunately, my situation was much less serious than many but scary all the same! Women are the promoters of safety in the workplace and family so please share this safety tip about copying the cards in your wallet with others. It will help all of us to be safer and less likely victim targets of thieves.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Dating nightmares are seen as part of dating game but how many of us are aware of their lasting affect on our self-esteem? Avoiding pregnancy, disease, stalkers, and physical abuse are obvious goals in dating but we also must protect our self-esteem. How many times have we dated someone not because we picked them but because they picked us? The tips to avoiding dating nightmares to protect your mental and emotional well-being are quite simple, though simple things can still be challenging.

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 1 – Healthy Self-Esteem

You must have healthy self-esteem prior to dating or you will attract insecure men with low self-esteem. This creates an insecure, jealous couple dependent upon the stability the other person who doesn’t have it to begin with much less, extra to share.

The Result: A tumultuous relationship and an emotionally and mentally draining and damaging breakup equating to lower self-esteem for both involved. By not insuring your healthy self-esteem prior to dating, you have just instigated an attack on your own mental and emotional states!

I truly believe that a healthy couple is created by two complete individuals coming together as a third entity. That way, when you are apart, you are “part of something” not “half of something.”

The Solution: Take the time to become the person you would fall in love with in order to attract the same caliber of man to you. Make sure you are happy with who you are first and foremost. It may take months or even years but how much time have we all invested in dating the wrong men? Doesn’t it make more sense to spend time creating a healthy relationship before you ask someone to join it?

This may seem backwards because we are used to picking a person (who makes us happy) to date and then creating a relationship but that has brought us a 50+% divorce rate! No one can make you happy. Happiness is within you. I loved “Jerry McGuire” too but the “you complete me” line was Hollywood! So many people are looking for someone to complete them. If you do not feel complete all by yourself, saddling someone else with your insecurities is a trip down Nightmare Avenue and you will never become a whole person!

If you attract men who are incomplete and looking for someone to complete them, remember that you attract what you are and you need to work on yourself not them. Stop dating and build your self-esteem. When you feel like you don’t even need a man, that is when you are healthy enough to have an excellent relationship.

My poor decisions took me down the road of rape and domestic violence and they stemmed from my lack of healthy self-esteem. You don’t want that to happen to you, your friends or your daughters, do you? Then take it from me, someone who’s been there, healthy self-esteem and loving who you are will give you a whole new life! The choices in men will be fewer because there are less of them with healthy self-esteem as well but quality always trumps quantity.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” my top safety tip for dating women is you must have healthy self-esteem to avoid dating nightmares!

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Dating nightmares and other weird or dangerous situations can be prevented by trusting survival instincts you were born with, your gut feelings. Many women go down Dating Nightmare Boulevard because instead of picking someone to date, they just date whoever picks them. I ignored bad gut feelings prior to dating two men several years apart. One of them raped me and I ended up in a domestic violence relationship with the other one for two and a half years, narrowly escaping with my life. Let me share what I’ve learned about gut feelings with regard to dating so you can be safer than I was. These tips to avoid dating nightmares are simple but not always easy:

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 2 – Trust Your Gut Feelings

You have good or bad gut feelings about every person, place and situation in your life. The terms, “I had a feeling,” and “I just couldn’t put my finger on it,” are all about gut feelings. Housed in our stomach or solar plexus area (hence the term “gut feelings”), our emotional center, they warn us of danger and give us warm, fuzzy feelings if things are safe.

When people cross their arms in front of their chest to look tough, they are actually feeling vulnerable and protecting their emotional center. Next time, they won’t look so tough to you, will they? Challenge someone on something and see how long it takes them to cross their arms.

Fine-Tuning Gut Feelings

Who you should and should not date will be extremely clear as you fine-tune your gut feelings. Pay attention to how you feel when you speak with someone, go somewhere, experience something. Notice if your stomach area feels tight, relaxed, tense, upset or warm and fuzzy. You don’t necessarily have to follow all of them but when you feel a particularly strong gut feeling, you’ll know the importance of taking it seriously. As you acknowledge these feelings, you’ll be much better at reading people and knowing if they are a good fit for you while avoiding dating nightmares.

Dating & Gut Feelings

Since most people are on their best behavior on a first date and unsure of how long they can keep it up, first dates are a circus for chaotic feelings. If your gut feelings are fine-tuned (which may only take a few weeks with dedication), you will feel the true sense of who someone is instead of the chaos.

Glossing over gut feelings in the dating world is an epidemic. Because we want to go out or love what the other person brings to the table we tend to ignore negative gut feelings. The more you get to know someone you had an initial bad gut feeling about, the deeper you go into an unhealthy relationship. Remember, injuries to your self-esteem (mental and emotional well-being) are longer lasting than bruises. Unfortunately, I speak from experience.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” one of my best safety tips for dating women to avoid dating nightmares is trust your gut feelings!

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Most women are less than eager to get trained in self-defense but we all need some tips on simple ways to avoid becoming a victim and repel instead of attract attackers. Fortunately, sometimes the simplest things work the best.

Attackers prefer victims go quietly so no one notices what is going on and gets a description of them resulting in their arrest. Now that we know what they are looking for, we can be the opposite. Here are a couple things to note:

Nine out of ten people gasp and hold their breath when startled or scared so attackers have the advantage already Making noise startles the attacker (turnabout is fair play) and calls attention to your situation

When you gasp and hold your breath, the adrenaline that is automatically produced to deal with stress freezes you quicker and longer, and that’s when the majority of people get hurt. Adrenaline is produced to give you the fight or flight option. It helps you think clearly, run faster and strike harder under stress. In order for it to circulate and help instead of hinder you, you must be breathing. This is where making noise comes in…



Yelling is a great way to make noise and get your adrenaline circulating at the same time because you expel all the air in your lungs and automatically take another breath. Viola! Circulation, adrenaline, strength, speed, clear thought, a startled attacker and everyone looking your direction! Notice I said, “yelling” and not “screaming?” That is because screaming is weak and defensive and yelling is strong and offensive. The three best things to yell: Stop, 911, Back Off!



Other great ways to make noise:

Honking your horn Sounding your vehicle alarm Throwing or knocking over something loud (like metal)


Honking your horn is probably not what comes to mind first when you are startled unless you are startled by another driver, right? But just think about how much attention a honked horn gets…and that is the idea after all; even if it is about your personal safety and not about your car.



We know that most people **** the sound of vehicle alarms and rarely even consider that something is being broken into or stolen but again, think how many people are alerted by the sound. You can be sleeping at night with your vehicle in the garage or driveway and sound your alarm if an intruder breaks in.

You know the movies where someone is running from a bad guy through the kitchen of a restaurant, knocking over metal tables and shelves behind them? Not only does this make an instant obstacle course but it makes a heck of a lot of noise in the process. Maybe you are in a store and rake your arm down a shelf pulling products onto the floor to make noise and draw attention.

There is nothing safe or heroic about going quietly with an attacker in the hopes he or she will not hurt you. In fact, it can easily cost you your life. If someone wants to take you against your will, their intention is to hurt you.

Teach your kids this safety tip too. I can’t tell you how difficult it is to get some children to practice yelling in my Safe Kids Class! They have been programmed that yelling gets them in trouble and they need to know it can get them out of trouble as well.

Remember attackers want quiet, uninterrupted time with their victim and the longer you are with them, the more power they have. Make a lot of noise and be more trouble than you’re worth.

And ALWAYS trust your gut feelings to know what to do because sometimes submission is the best option. A good question to ask yourself is, “How is the best way to handle this situation?” Your brain will answer whatever you ask it. Make sure and ask good, empowering questions to get the same kind of answers.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author: