Women's Safety Information

Women are often targeted by attackers because we make a few common mistakes about personal safety that present us as easy crime victim prospects.

We tend to be accommodating, to a fault We ignore our gut feelings Automatic trust is common with women

A few things to remember as we get into more detail about the common mistakes we make that put us in danger.

Attackers are insecure, have low self-esteem, feel out of control of their own lives and choose to control someone or something else in order to feel powerful again. Attackers look for those who appear weaker than they are (mentally, physically) to attack. Attacks may be verbal, mental, emotional or physical.
Too Accommodating

Women tend to be accommodating because we want people to like us and we enjoy being helpful. Although these traits are not bad they may allow us to be taken advantage of and pushed too far. This is where an attacker, known or unknown to you sees weakness and opportunity.

Solution: Establish and enforce personal boundaries. Know what distance you are willing to go and go no further. This will keep you from giving your power away to someone else.

Ignoring Gut Feelings

As women, we are generally much more in tune with our intuition or gut feelings than men are. However, we also tend to overlook, ignore and justify actions that are not in line with our gut feelings in order to be liked and to be nice.

Solution: Realize gut feelings are survival instincts you were born with. They will always lead you the right way. Follow them.

Automatic Trust

Because women have been raised to be nice and do good things for others, we often trust untrustworthy people automatically. We can all think back to a time we trusted someone and should not have.

Solution: Trust you gut feeling (intuition) without questioning or trying to justify it. It doesn’t have to be logical to be right. You will “feel” if someone is trustworthy or not. A good personal boundary to establish and enforce is, “If it feels wrong, avoid it.”

Although women may be targeted by attackers, these safety tips will help all of us avoid the personal safety mistakes that portray us as good victim prospects.



By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Hand bags are such a fashion statement and we, as women, always have plenty to fill even the largest of bags. But as we carry our fashion statements and line up for sales on the bag we fell in love with, we need to be conscious of the statement we are making to those more interested in snatching them than admiring them.

Why is a larger bag a better purse-snatching target? Obviously, there are thought to be more valuable items in a roomier bag.

After all, we can carry our:

iPod Cell phone Portable DVD player Portable GPS Small laptop Cash Credit Cards Checkbooks and many other things a smaller bag will not allow
Benefits of Small Purses

You always know what you have because you have to clean it out often No need replace expensive make up that went missing in a larger bag No lost receipts Too small to take many credit cards, lessening the loss and hassle if stolen Too small to take checkbooks, which are oh, so easy for thieves to use immediately Absence of shoulder and back/neck pain often accompanying a larger bag Fewer chiropractic visits Easy to set in lap at restaurant or hang onto in a club Streamlines the look Projects simplicity and low-maintenance to men Ease of finding ringing cell phone in time to answer Ease of finding car keys and an excellent purse-snatcher repellent

If attacked by a purse snatcher, thief or mugger, the best thing to do is give up your material possessions. Nothing you own is worth risking your life for. However, if you are still paying on the $1,200 for the bag the creep wants, it may be challenging to give it up, which could cost you your life.

So keep in mind that when it comes to purses and personal safety, size does matter to thieves and women.



By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

As a woman and the physically weaker gender you top the list, with the elderly and children, as a good victim prospect for physical attack. The good news is that although there are devices available like mace, pepper spray, tazers and stun guns, you have effective weapons with you at all times; the built-in weapons; the ones your body came with.

Real-Life Story: I had a 17 year old, female neighbor who was attacked while she was taking a shower by someone who had gone on a rampage and car-jacked four vehicles before breaking into her home. Obviously, if she had mace in her purse, it wasn’t accessible to her in the shower. Fortunately, she used her common sense and escaped through the bathroom window when the attacker left the room briefly.

Your Top 5 Built-In Weapons

Common Sense – When you use this one, you can avoid many dangerous situations. Glossing over it in favor of politeness or what seems to be logic has cost many lives. Gut Feelings – These are survival instincts you were born with and their job is to keep you alive. How many times have you ignored yours, only to regret it later? Arms, elbows, hands – Your arsenal! Grabbing, striking, pinching, twisting, jabbing, gouging; all fair during an attack. Legs, knees, feet – Your strongest and most powerful weapons can also put you off balance. You can hold on to the attacker for balance when using these. Also good for fighting from the ground. Voice – When used correctly, your voice draws attention to your situation, startles the attacker (catching him or her off-guard), and makes you stronger by circulating adrenaline.

The weapon a woman purchases often gives a false sense of security; especially since most women cannot visualize themselves hurting anyone physically. Many never open the packages of the device purchased and others stay buried deep in a handbag, out of reach in an emergency.

Remember your built-in weapons are always with you and can be very effective in case of physical attack.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

stungundotcom asked:

Robert Siciliano demonstrates Womens Self Defense at a conference of nursing professionals

Women are inherently more vulnerable to all types of attack based on gender alone so our personal safety requires that we avoid making the most common and easily correctable mistakes. We are physically weaker, more nurturing and have been brought up to care for everyone else before ourselves. If we are strong, confident and assertive, we often get called derogatory names by those who lack confidence, strength and assertiveness.

Common Mistake #1

Being nurturing to a fault – Taking care of everyone before and instead of yourself.

How to prevent:

Remember, just like flight attendants tell us, help yourself first and then those around you.Taking care of others is great but make sure you are safe and healthy first and foremost. Staying healthy not only helps us make better decisions, it keeps us strong enough to escape when necessary.

Common Mistake #2

Ignoring gut feelings – Glossing over our instincts to be polite or keep from hurting others’ feelings puts us in danger.

How to prevent:

Trust your gut feelings. They are survival instincts you were born with and their job is to keep you alive. We are more in-tune with our gut feelings, which is why we hear a lot about “women’s intuition.” Call it what you want but always pay attention it!

Common Mistake #3

Disregarding the need for personal boundaries – We think everyone will treat us with respect and when they don’t, we tend to think we deserve it.

How to prevent:

Establish and enforce personal boundaries for yourself with regard to friend, work and family situations. Establishment requires acknowledging your worthiness and determining what is acceptable and unacceptable to you. Enforcement is deciding what you will say and or do if someone violates the boundaries you’ve established for your mental, emotional and physical safety.

You will have greater personal safety, physically, emotionally and mentally when you stop making these mistakes.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Women are familiar with intuition. We often just know things without any background support information. Sometimes we visualize an outcome, sometimes we hear what seems to be a silent answer to a question, sometimes we physically feel the correct thing to do and sometimes we just know without knowing how we know.

Intuition is also called gut feelings and the good news is that men, teens and kids can use gut feelings just as women do, to be safer and make good choices. Since women are the biggest cheerleaders for the safety of their loved ones, let’s make sure we are clear about how gut feelings work and how to use them to our advantage.

About Gut Feelings

Survival instincts we were born with Their job is to keep us alive They are personal to each individual No need to compare as they may be opposite of someone else’s gut feelings What may be safe for you may not be for your friend, co-worker and vice versa They are either good or bad (indifferent can be put in the good category) You have them about every person, place and situation in your life The key is to listen, feel, see and follow them when they are strongest Following them always is a great idea but rarely done
Examples of Gut Feelings

You meet someone for the first time and like them instantly You meet someone for the first time and dislike them without knowing why Someone tells you something and you have a feeling it is untrue You have a decision to make and although info points to one choice, you feel the other is best You know something is going to turn out a certain way without evidence to support it You get a creepy feeling about someone and know they are unsafe for you to be near
Acknowledging Your Gut Feelings

You may not have realized that you always have gut feelings about everything in your life. To prove this, think of someone you love and notice the first feeling or sense you have about that person. Next, think of someone who is dis-empowering or weakens you and notice what you feel, hear or sense. Although these feelings may come from already knowing these people, this exercise demonstrates how opposite gut feelings feel.

A vital part of living safely emotionally is knowing what and who strengthens you and what or who weakens you. Obviously, you cannot live your best life by immersing yourself in that which weakens you. Gut feelings are the perfect way to determine where you should be, what you should be doing and who you should allow in your life. My article on the #4 Personal Safety Secret for Women on Personal Boundaries is a must read if this interests you.

How Using Gut Feelings Creates Your Safer Future

By acknowledging gut feelings and realizing how often you have them, yours will become finely tuned. This is the absolute best way to live safer but you have to also follow them!

Example: You and your daughter are walking into the grocery store. A woman in the store prompts a bad gut feeling in you and you can tell that your daughter is uncomfortable as well. The woman asks you a question. Do you ignore your bad gut feeling so as not to offend her and answer her question against your better judgment? Remember, although she may not be an axe murdered, your gut feelings are survival instincts you were born with! Besides, if someone gives you the creeps, if anyone should be offended, it should be you.

So what should you do? Pretend you did not hear the question or excuse yourself and walk away quickly, pretend to get a phone call, etc. Your safety and that of your daughter are most important, period.

It could be that you answer the woman’s question and nothing bad happens. That’s great, but what about next time? What did you just demonstrate for your daughter to model later? Probably that it is important to be polite at any cost and that other people are more important than you are. These are subliminal messages, for the most part, but crucial to personal safety. Consider that this situation was a quiz, preparing you or your daughter for a bigger test in the future. Will you pass? Will she?

Why We Often Ignore Our Gut Feelings

The above example illustrates the very reason we so often put ourselves into dangerous situations emotionally and physically by ignoring our gut feelings. We, as women, are taught to always be polite and help others. That’s great but we make ourselves so vulnerable that we have no protection at all! We become so concerned that people won’t like us or that we will offend someone that we gloss over our survival instincts in favor of our delicate self-esteem.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

As women, we often hand over the responsibility of our own personal safety to others; our significant other, the big dog we’re walking, the police, our employer or our friends; who we let talk us into things we have a bad gut feeling about.

The myth that someone else is going to save you should be packed away with moth balls. Although there are many accounts of someone helping someone in need, think about what decisions were made to put the person in a position of need in the first place. Of course, we sometimes do the right things and end up in an unfavorable situation but more often than not, we put ourselves there based on our false sense of confidence that someone else will take responsibility for our safety.

Real Life Story (Example): I went to an event with my favorite 40+ women’s group. It was a scavenger hunt with four women in each vehicle and a long list of ridiculous things to do and photograph before returning with the best photos to win the event.

I had three bad gut feelings about riding in a car with a virtual stranger (although a nice person and fellow member of the group). I justified my way out of following my gut feelings after several attempts to “adjust” the arrangement so that I would be the driver. Finally, I gave in saying to myself, “Kelly, just be like everyone else for once and stop being so concerned about safety.” That’s a pretty strong statement since I have been a Personal Safety Trainer for over nine years and this situation was just a six months ago.

Reluctantly, but appearing to be as cheery as everyone else, I got in the back seat (didn’t call “shotgun” quick enough) of a three door car without a way to get out unless the driver’s door was already open. (This was the final of three bad gut feelings. The second was that it only had three doors to begin with.) One of the justifications I employed was thinking that if a 40+ gal had been driving for 25 years without getting in an accident, she could certainly be responsible for my safety for four hours.

The first thing the driver did was run a red light and before I could figure a “graceful” way out of the car, she turned across several lanes of oncoming traffic and caused what could have been a fatal accident for all of us!

While the police and fire department were at the accident scene, my co-passengers labored over how to stay in the event with a different driver (me) without “hurting the feelings” of the driver who almost killed us by doing one of the most idiotic things I’ve ever seen in my life for no apparent reason! I became the no-nonsense spokesperson and we changed cars and drivers and had a great day.

The benefit of this situation was that I was writing a book during this time and the book took on a whole new direction because of this event in my life. I rewrote it in two days! Grateful that none of us got hurt and for the inspiration, I always trust my gut feelings and negotiating with them is not an option!

There are numerous situations to illustrate how we give away the responsibility for our safety to others but I thought this simple example was a good one to share. The driver of the car we were in wasn’t an attacker, but how many times to we trust someone we don’t know well with our safety even though we have a bad gut feeling about a situation?

The date rape that occurred in my life as well as the domestic violence relationship I was involved in for two and a half terrifying years stemmed from my bad gut feelings but trusting someone else to “protect me.”

You are totally and completely responsible for your own personal safety. This allows you to keep your power instead of giving it away to someone else. Remember, our survival instinct is that our number one priority is our own safety, even if we are a parent. (That’s why they say to put your oxygen mask on first on the airplane.) Because this is true, think of this: when you trust someone else with your safety, you are automatically demoted to number two instead of number one! So trust your gut feelings and always follow the strong ones or repetitive ones.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Women are often targeted by attackers because we make a few common mistakes about personal safety that present us as easy crime victim prospects.

We tend to be accommodating, to a fault We ignore our gut feelings Automatic trust is common with women

A few things to remember as we get into more detail about the common mistakes we make that put us in danger.

Attackers are insecure, have low self-esteem, feel out of control of their own lives and choose to control someone or something else in order to feel powerful again. Attackers look for those who appear weaker than they are (mentally, physically) to attack. Attacks may be verbal, mental, emotional or physical.
Too Accommodating

Women tend to be accommodating because we want people to like us and we enjoy being helpful. Although these traits are not bad they may allow us to be taken advantage of and pushed too far. This is where an attacker, known or unknown to you sees weakness and opportunity.

Solution: Establish and enforce personal boundaries. Know what distance you are willing to go and go no further. This will keep you from giving your power away to someone else.

Ignoring Gut Feelings

As women, we are generally much more in tune with our intuition or gut feelings than men are. However, we also tend to overlook, ignore and justify actions that are not in line with our gut feelings in order to be liked and to be nice.

Solution: Realize gut feelings are survival instincts you were born with. They will always lead you the right way. Follow them.

Automatic Trust

Because women have been raised to be nice and do good things for others, we often trust untrustworthy people automatically. We can all think back to a time we trusted someone and should not have.

Solution: Trust you gut feeling (intuition) without questioning or trying to justify it. It doesn’t have to be logical to be right. You will “feel” if someone is trustworthy or not. A good personal boundary to establish and enforce is, “If it feels wrong, avoid it.”

Although women may be targeted by attackers, these safety tips will help all of us avoid the personal safety mistakes that portray us as good victim prospects.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

As a woman and the physically weaker gender you top the list, with the elderly and children, as a good victim prospect for physical attack. The good news is that although there are devices available like mace, pepper spray, tazers and stun guns, you have effective weapons with you at all times; the built-in weapons; the ones your body came with.

Real-Life Story: I had a 17 year old, female neighbor who was attacked while she was taking a shower by someone who had gone on a rampage and car-jacked four vehicles before breaking into her home. Obviously, if she had mace in her purse, it wasn’t accessible to her in the shower. Fortunately, she used her common sense and escaped through the bathroom window when the attacker left the room briefly.

Your Top 5 Built-In Weapons

Common Sense – When you use this one, you can avoid many dangerous situations. Glossing over it in favor of politeness or what seems to be logic has cost many lives. Gut Feelings – These are survival instincts you were born with and their job is to keep you alive. How many times have you ignored yours, only to regret it later? Arms, elbows, hands – Your arsenal! Grabbing, striking, pinching, twisting, jabbing, gouging; all fair during an attack. Legs, knees, feet – Your strongest and most powerful weapons can also put you off balance. You can hold on to the attacker for balance when using these. Also good for fighting from the ground. Voice – When used correctly, your voice draws attention to your situation, startles the attacker (catching him or her off-guard), and makes you stronger by circulating adrenaline.

The weapon a woman purchases often gives a false sense of security; especially since most women cannot visualize themselves hurting anyone physically. Many never open the packages of the device purchased and others stay buried deep in a handbag, out of reach in an emergency.

Remember your built-in weapons are always with you and can be very effective in case of physical attack.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

As women, we are usually the “safety monitors” for our families and teaching kids and teens about safety is easier than you might think.

Here’s the deal. Attackers are insecure, out of control (of their own life) people with low self-esteem looking for someone weaker to control. Pretty simple, eh? They can be either gender, any age and may attack verbally, mentally, emotionally or physically.

So all your child or teen needs to do is to repel the majority of attackers is portray themselves as confident and in control of their life. This is because the motive of every attacker is a power fix. Common sense tells them to pick someone weaker in order to control them. Note: this doesn’t mean the victim selected is weak, just that he or she looks weak.

For example: You can be the captain of the football team and have a bazillion friends but if you’re walking around distracted by a cell phone conversation, you look weak.

So here’s what to teach your kids and teens:
ALWAYS trust your gut feelings; they are always right regardless of whether they make sense or not. ALWAYS look around to notice your surroundings; prevention is 90% awareness. ALWAYS have a plan; what to do if things go your way and what to do if they don’t.

Moms, delete the words “no” and “don’t” from your vocabulary if you want to teach your family effective safety skills; or anything else for that matter. Only say what to do if you want it to stick.

Your kids and teens are responsible for their own safety so let them know you trust them by saying two things when you part: “I love you” and “choose wisely.”

Enjoy teaching your kids and teens about safety with strictly positive lingo. Remember, any time you use a negative when speaking to someone, you’re instantly in opposition. Is that really what you want when communicating with your kids and teens about safety?

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author: