Women's Safety Information

Dating nightmares and other weird or dangerous situations can be prevented by trusting survival instincts you were born with, your gut feelings. Many women go down Dating Nightmare Boulevard because instead of picking someone to date, they just date whoever picks them. I ignored bad gut feelings prior to dating two men several years apart. One of them raped me and I ended up in a domestic violence relationship with the other one for two and a half years, narrowly escaping with my life. Let me share what I’ve learned about gut feelings with regard to dating so you can be safer than I was. These tips to avoid dating nightmares are simple but not always easy:

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 2 – Trust Your Gut Feelings

You have good or bad gut feelings about every person, place and situation in your life. The terms, “I had a feeling,” and “I just couldn’t put my finger on it,” are all about gut feelings. Housed in our stomach or solar plexus area (hence the term “gut feelings”), our emotional center, they warn us of danger and give us warm, fuzzy feelings if things are safe.

When people cross their arms in front of their chest to look tough, they are actually feeling vulnerable and protecting their emotional center. Next time, they won’t look so tough to you, will they? Challenge someone on something and see how long it takes them to cross their arms.

Fine-Tuning Gut Feelings

Who you should and should not date will be extremely clear as you fine-tune your gut feelings. Pay attention to how you feel when you speak with someone, go somewhere, experience something. Notice if your stomach area feels tight, relaxed, tense, upset or warm and fuzzy. You don’t necessarily have to follow all of them but when you feel a particularly strong gut feeling, you’ll know the importance of taking it seriously. As you acknowledge these feelings, you’ll be much better at reading people and knowing if they are a good fit for you while avoiding dating nightmares.

Dating & Gut Feelings

Since most people are on their best behavior on a first date and unsure of how long they can keep it up, first dates are a circus for chaotic feelings. If your gut feelings are fine-tuned (which may only take a few weeks with dedication), you will feel the true sense of who someone is instead of the chaos.

Glossing over gut feelings in the dating world is an epidemic. Because we want to go out or love what the other person brings to the table we tend to ignore negative gut feelings. The more you get to know someone you had an initial bad gut feeling about, the deeper you go into an unhealthy relationship. Remember, injuries to your self-esteem (mental and emotional well-being) are longer lasting than bruises. Unfortunately, I speak from experience.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” one of my best safety tips for dating women to avoid dating nightmares is trust your gut feelings!

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Dating nightmares are seen as part of dating game but how many of us are aware of their lasting affect on our self-esteem? Avoiding pregnancy, disease, stalkers, and physical abuse are obvious goals in dating but we also must protect our self-esteem. How many times have we dated someone not because we picked them but because they picked us? The tips to avoiding dating nightmares to protect your mental and emotional well-being are quite simple, though simple things can still be challenging.

Healthy Self-Esteem Trust Your Gut Feelings Personal Boundaries
Part 1 – Healthy Self-Esteem

You must have healthy self-esteem prior to dating or you will attract insecure men with low self-esteem. This creates an insecure, jealous couple dependent upon the stability the other person who doesn’t have it to begin with much less, extra to share.

The Result: A tumultuous relationship and an emotionally and mentally draining and damaging breakup equating to lower self-esteem for both involved. By not insuring your healthy self-esteem prior to dating, you have just instigated an attack on your own mental and emotional states!

I truly believe that a healthy couple is created by two complete individuals coming together as a third entity. That way, when you are apart, you are “part of something” not “half of something.”

The Solution: Take the time to become the person you would fall in love with in order to attract the same caliber of man to you. Make sure you are happy with who you are first and foremost. It may take months or even years but how much time have we all invested in dating the wrong men? Doesn’t it make more sense to spend time creating a healthy relationship before you ask someone to join it?

This may seem backwards because we are used to picking a person (who makes us happy) to date and then creating a relationship but that has brought us a 50+% divorce rate! No one can make you happy. Happiness is within you. I loved “Jerry McGuire” too but the “you complete me” line was Hollywood! So many people are looking for someone to complete them. If you do not feel complete all by yourself, saddling someone else with your insecurities is a trip down Nightmare Avenue and you will never become a whole person!

If you attract men who are incomplete and looking for someone to complete them, remember that you attract what you are and you need to work on yourself not them. Stop dating and build your self-esteem. When you feel like you don’t even need a man, that is when you are healthy enough to have an excellent relationship.

My poor decisions took me down the road of rape and domestic violence and they stemmed from my lack of healthy self-esteem. You don’t want that to happen to you, your friends or your daughters, do you? Then take it from me, someone who’s been there, healthy self-esteem and loving who you are will give you a whole new life! The choices in men will be fewer because there are less of them with healthy self-esteem as well but quality always trumps quantity.

As “Your Personal Safety Trainer,” my top safety tip for dating women is you must have healthy self-esteem to avoid dating nightmares!

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author: