A challenging economy has many ramifications and one is a drastic increase in crime – often against women. Ordinary people do extraordinary things to feed their families, keep their homes, medical benefits and lifestyle.

The frantic mode much of the country is in right now, incessantly perpetuated by media (because it is news), can inspire fear and panic in even the most enthusiastic of optimists.

Domestic violence shelters are currently overflowing with middle and upper income women they rarely see in normal economic times. Relationships are dissolving as lifestyles change and the “for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad” is a distant memory. Sometimes people find that life just rolled by and when it comes time to depend on one another, they are all alone. This creates depression, stress, doubt, insecurity, fear, resentment, illness, anger, low self-esteem, chaos, a feeling of weakness and other negative influences.

Women, are commonly selected as victim targets just as children and seniors are because they are viewed as “weaker” by cowardly, insecure attackers. Women are also the “safety monitors” in families and workplaces. Therefore, here are 3 simple safety tips to practice and pass along:

Trust your gut feelings. People you know might be feeling and acting differently during financial and relational stress. Listen to the little voice that guides you. What may have been safe before may not now. Exit situations when you feel the need to do so and avoid feeling obligated to apologize or explain. It may put you in greater danger. Confident body language is a great way to repel, instead of attract, attackers. Hold your head up, shoulders back, walk with purpose, swing your arms and be ready to yell 911 and run if necessary. Carry only necessities with you. If a thief wants your stuff, give it up quickly or you risk your life. Your purse should contain only what you need for wherever you are. If you don’t need six credit cards at work, they shouldn’t be in your purse when you are there.

Keep in mind the economy has tumbled before and will again in the future. Count your blessings even when money isn’t one of them and you will be mentally and emotionally stronger than the majority of people around you, which makes you a less likely victim prospect.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

We all know a person who tries to control others, forces their opinions on everyone and gets their way because people are afraid to stand up to them for fear of getting on their bad side. But do we realize how destructive this bullying behavior really is to those involved or what makes a bully in the first place? After all, we experience it in families, school, the workplace, neighborhoods and public places. Come with me as I dissect one real-life story (out of millions) to illustrate the impact bullying makes.

Real-Life Story – Bully In the Neighborhood

A nearby condominium association has always been a little strict but that’s what reminded homeowners to keep track of things so the neighborhood always looks and feels great. It was a peaceful, friendly place where neighbors knew each other by name and were always available to help one another.

Recently, a new board member took over the association by appointing herself to the position without a vote or anyone standing in her way. She walks the neighborhood day and night finding (or creating) violations to exhibit her power over others. Association meetings that used to be one hour are several hours long with all of the residents who have gotten reprimanded for ridiculous violations of vague guidelines scheduled to appear in front of the board.

There are so many absurd violation letters being handed out, the general feel of a recently friendly, warm and fuzzy neighborhood is rampant with negative discussions of the association and unreasonable violation notices. Numerous homeowner have gotten letters scolding them for something, requiring them to fit a 3-4 hour association meeting into their busy schedule to explain themselves as if they are children.

One violation was about neighbor’s Rottweiler barking as the president and her husband jogged by looking for more violations. Obviously, the bully doesn’t realize a watchdog’s job is to deliver a bark-alert about someone who is not normally in the area.

Several of the former association board members have resigned because of the new president feeling helpless, frustrated and fearful of her wrath.



Anatomy of a Bully: Attacker mindset

Low self-esteem Insecure Feels out of control of own life Chooses to control someone else (or everyone else in this case) to feel powerful again
This Bully’s Impact on a Once Warm and Fuzzy Neighborhood

Fear of being written up for Unnecessary stress when home is suppose to be a haven Frustration than no one is standing up to the bully A feeling of helplessness Invasion of privacy Anger Negative cloud over neighborhood Time away from life and family to address ridiculous claims at meetings Confusion as to how this person became a board member Disappointment in other board members, neighbors who won’t stand up to bully Memory trigger from past bullying experiences (we’ve all had them)

A bully is an attacker and bullying is attacking, in this case, mentally and emotionally. You may wonder why I call such a typical behavior “attacking.” That is because it is seriously negative, destructive, bad behavior and should be treated as such.

Remember that attackers are weak and usually back down if someone stands up to them who appears stronger mentally or emotionally. They are using their victims to get a power fix since they feel out of control of some part of their own life.

If we knew more about this new president’s life, I’m sure we would quickly see where she feels out of control which would explain but not justify why she attacks. There are plans to have an election for new board members!

Bullying can get you what you want, where you want to go and speed up your journey, but on the way back down, which happens eventually, you have to pass by the people you stepped on, on your way up.

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Valentine’s Day can be dangerous for the desperate single gal seeking a date so as not to be alone on this “couple’s holiday.” By dangerous, I mean physically. Men who prey on women know the signs of a desperate single gal around this time of year and put their plan into motion. There are also mental and emotional dangers to consider. If you end up with the stalker-type, you may have a long, scary road ahead of you! Let’s take a closer look at ways to avoid getting “sucked in” by the hype.

]]> http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-safety-tip-the-valentines-date-romance-or-danger-valentines-safety-tip-for-women-2/feed/ 0 http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-motorcycle-apparel-dont-forget-about-safety/ http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-motorcycle-apparel-dont-forget-about-safety/#comments Tue, 31 Aug 2010 17:50:46 +0000 admin http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-motorcycle-apparel-dont-forget-about-safety/

Women’s motorcycle apparel is more than just a great outfit for riding a bike. Yes, ladies, we all want to look good, but your apparel should be just as much about safety and comfort as it is about looks. You will need a jacket or motorcycle suit, chaps, motorcycle gloves, a helmet, glasses, accessories… Okay, I’m getting off track and going back to the look, but look is important too, even in the safety apparel.

Typically you think of women’s biker apparel as some kind of petite, collarless top or tank top, a pair of tight blue jeans, boots, and maybe a jacket in leather or denim, depending on the season and the look you are trying to achieve. Let’s talk about the other women’s motorcycle apparel you need.

Jacket or Motorcycle Suit

When riding a bike it is important to not only block some of the wind, especially when it’s cold out, but safety is important. You want to cover your skin in a thick material, as thick as you can stand, in case of a fall. A thick jacket, leather if possible or a leather motorcycle suit can help to protect you if you put the bike down. You can also get waterproof jackets, some of which will roll up and stow away under the seat.

Chaps

Chaps can take the place of a motorcycle suit when a jacket is worn. These are leather or shearing leggings that wrap around your legs and protect them from scrapes during falls and even from burns from the tailpipe. You may or may not like the look of chaps, I personally think they look very cool, but you will appreciate them the first time you try to do a wheelie and your bike flips over on top of you and you can’t lift it off you while the tailpipe is burning a hole into your leg… Again, I digress (but you should see my scar!)

Motorcycle Gloves

One often missed piece of women’s motorcycle apparel is the gloves. Motorcycle gloves are important to not only protect your hands from the cold, but to grip the handles while riding. A good grip on the handles is kind of important, wouldn’t you agree? Without gloves your fingers and hands can easily go numb from the cold winds. Numb hands don’t feel the grip very well, do they?

Helmet and/or Glasses

Yes, ladies, you will need one or the other. While we all know that a great pair of sunglasses looks better than an helmet, a helmet is much safer (and required in most states). You can find a very sexy helmet if you look around at the motorcycle outlets near you or do an online search for women’s motorcycle apparel.

You’re going to have to decide on the accessories for yourself because this is all a matter of taste. However, might I suggest a backpack or ***** pack as opposed to trying to carry a pocketbook while riding your bike? Trust me ladies, women’s motorcycle apparel is even more fun to shop for than new shoes.

By: Kevin Wynn

About the Author:

We all learned our ABC’s in school but we learned very little about safety and how to repel attackers. In fact, most of our safety training was about what not to do, which put us in greater danger. Who needs to know what not to do, what doesn’t work? Let’s stay positive and delete the words, “not” and “don’t” from our safety training so we can actually absorb the great information!

The ABC’s of Repelling Attackers

A = Attacker Mindset and Attitude

When you understand the attacker mindset you get the real picture of what attackers are up to, what they look for when selecting victims and how to be the opposite to repel instead of attract them. Your attitude toward attackers will change drastically as you gain understanding of their need for a power fix and how that works into your personal safety and that of your loved ones.

B = Body Language

Knowing that attackers look for weakness and that body language is the quickest way to show it illustrates your need to portray confidence even if you have to fake it. Something as simple as holding your head up or leaving your ringing cell phone to voice mail while walking in public can repel an attacker while those with their head down, distracted by a phone conversation can actually attract them.

C = Common Sense

Attackers exercise more common sense when attacking than many people do all day long. For example: attackers look to attack those who look weak or distracted because they know the power fix they desire will not come from losing a fight. Common sense tells us to pay attention to our survival instincts (gut feelings) yet we, more often than not, gloss over them with logic or ignore them in favor of politeness to avoid offending someone.

Your first ABC lesson taught you how to read. Your second

]]> http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-personal-safety-tips-the-abcs-of-repelling-attackers-safety-for-women-those-they-love-2/feed/ 0 http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-safety-tips-true-story-creep-or-gentleman-important-safety-tip-for-women-3/ http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-safety-tips-true-story-creep-or-gentleman-important-safety-tip-for-women-3/#comments Tue, 31 Aug 2010 02:57:47 +0000 admin http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-safety-tips-true-story-creep-or-gentleman-important-safety-tip-for-women-3/

Although there are plenty of awesome, gentlemen around, sometimes we meet one that gives us the creeps. We may even think there is something wrong with us because he keeps telling us he’s a gentleman. I’ve encountered this situation more than a few times and I’m guessing you have to. So let me share some very simple things you can do to determine if it is safe to be around a man. By safe, I mean physically, mentally and emotionally.

Trust that gut feeling If a man tells you that he is a gentleman instead of proving it, he isn’t Enforce your personal boundaries to avoid being near anyone who gives you the creeps
True Story To Illustrate:

I was waiting with a girl friend in a long line for harbor cruise and the man behind us interrupted our conversation to comment on what we’d been talking about. She and I had been discussing the fact that I had to explain to guy why it is polite and appropriate to walk a woman to her car when she’s leaving a club late at night. The guy behind us (we’ll call him Brad), stated that he was a 50 year old gentleman and commented that gentlemen are seemingly rare these days.

As we listened to him, we both got the creeps and so did the other women overhearing the conversation. Brad mentioned several times that he was a gentleman and always followed it with an increasingly inappropriate compliment or comment about women. I decided he was trying to take the curse off of the comments by telling us he was a gentleman.

Finally, with Brad moving closer and closer to my friend, getting in her space, I told him that his comments were inappropriate and that he didn’t seem to be a gentleman at all. That seemed to make him even more enthusiastic about saying off-color comments like how good my friend’s jeans fit and how great she looked at 47. Interspersed were mentions of his wife, which I took as more attempts to remove the curse from his offensive monologue. He would also say, “I’m sorry but,” before he said something that made us uncomfortable.

As a Personal Safety Trainer, I have very solid personal boundaries and am not at all shy about enforcing them. I told him that the more he told us he was a gentleman and apologized the more he seemed like a creep. He started to speak again and I said, “You’re stepping over the line and you need to stop talking right now.” Finally, he shut up. Later on the boat, a couple of women who overheard the conversation complimented me on the way I handled the situation.

This story is a perfect example of the need to trust gut feelings, pay attention to someone’s behavior instead of their words if they don’t match and establish and enforce personal boundaries. Brad is a verbal and mental abuser. Part of what he did by stating that he was a gentleman and apologizing prior to rude comments can be considered crazy-making as in domestic violence situations. This is where the perpetrator makes him or herself out to be the normal one so that the victim thinks they are the one with the problem.

Knowing how to tell a creep from a gentleman is an important safety tip for women!

By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Now that you’ve taken on some responsibility for the “He got in my space” situation by reading my previous article and establishing personal boundaries, lets talk about enforcement of those boundaries. There are truly benefits to knowing what is acceptable and unacceptable to you even if you have yet to tackle enforcement because clarity is key and gives you the motivation to move to the next step.

Enforcing Personal Boundaries:

Pull out your list of what is acceptable and unacceptable to you that you created while reading my first “He Got In My Space” article. You’ll probably think of even more things to add as you read so I’ll give you a minute….

Okay, minute’s up. Now, think about the first unacceptable thing on your list. What you will DO if someone gets close to crossing that line? What will you say? Should you warn them ahead of time or wait until it happens?

These are all good questions so I’ll share some important but all-too-often-learned-too-late info to help you before I answer them.

Important Note about Enforcement of Personal Boundaries:

It is easier to establish and enforce personal boundaries when you first meet someone than to change the rules mid-relationship. Your family, friends and coworkers have been treating you a certain way for years may not take well to to the game change, especially if they’ve been mistreating you or taking advantage of you.

You are going to feel empowered with the enforcement of your new personal boundaries but they may feel frustrated, confined and angry so be prepared. Also realize that enforcing personal boundaries is a catalyst for cleaning out toxic friendships. They usually leave on their own because they can no longer get a power fix from dumping on you. This saves you time and effort but the realization of who your true friends are not may be painful.

With children, we are used to letting them know the rules up front so this should work with them. For example: to a verbally abusive teen, “From now on, speak respectfully or say nothing at all.”

]]> http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-safety-secrets-he-got-in-my-space-enforcing-personal-boundaries-for-safety-2/feed/ 0 http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-rape-prevention-safety-tips-2/ http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-rape-prevention-safety-tips-2/#comments Mon, 30 Aug 2010 02:27:50 +0000 admin http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-rape-prevention-safety-tips-2/

There are some basic steps that you can take to help lower your risk of falling victim to sexual attack. Some of these things you might already know but many women still ignore them because they have the “it won’t happen to me” mentality but sadly it can happen.

Here are some easy to follow safety tips to try and avoid being sexually assaulted.

o Always be aware of your surroundings.
o Do you best to always walk with a friend
o Walk only in well lit areas of streets, driveways and parking lots.
o NEVER EVER leave your drink unattended. Date rape drugs are easy to find and can get you raped and even worse, killed.
o Don’t get intoxicated – it may sound silly but as a woman you are a target for the creeps of the world and quite frankly when drunk, judgment and safety go out the door.
o If you are being followed by a man – break out the mace or pepper spray if you have it, stay in lit areas and go into the first public place you find. Keep looking back so the person knows you can’t be surprised and hopefully he will just go away
o If a driver pulls up and asks directions, don’t get too close to the car so you can’t be grabbed or simply say you can’t help and keep moving.
o Avoid passing too close to big bushes, dark doorways, alleys or any other places of concealment.
o Try to walk facing oncoming traffic to make it easier to be seen if help is needed
o Only use the busier bus stops instead of the deserted ones. You want witnesses.
o If you must frequently walk alone at night, vary your route often as to not develop a distinguishable pattern.
o Don’t wear headphones while walking or jogging, even during the day because you may not hear an attacker’s approach. Plus it makes you look like a “good target”.
o If you plan to jog alone, stay in public areas. Try to carry a personal alarm system and pepper spray at a minimum.
o If someone asks you for directions on the street, and you do choose to reply to them, be sure to remain at least 4 feet away so that you are not within arms reach.
o If meeting friends out, be sure to let them know the route you are taking and when you plan to arrive.
o Park only in well lit, open areas.
o Be extra cautious when parking in parking garages – try and park near the exit/entrance. Ask a coworker to walk with you to the parking garage if at night
o Try not to park next to any type of van. You could easily be pulled into the van through the sliding or side door.
o Check your rear view mirror often and if you think you are being followed, never drive to your home or pull over in a deserted area. Drive straight to the nearest police station, fire station, gas station, friends home or other well lit building and honk your horn until help arrives.
o Have your keys in your hand while approaching your vehicle.
o Never pick up a hitchhiker no matter nice or safe they may look.
o Don’t stop to assist a disabled motorist. Instead call the police and ask them to go and help the motorist out.
o Always check the back seat, floor and under the car before approaching and entering your vehicle.

These are just a few common sense tips that hopefully got you thinking. You brain is your best defense weapon, use it often and hopefully danger will never find you.

Remember to go with your gut feelings, if you feel uneasy there is probably a reason for it so better safe than sorry. Get to safety!

By: Charles Dougherty

About the Author:

Do you ever wonder why people interpret things so differently from you? Or why you can say something in simple terms and the person you’re speaking to may not understand? Have you wondered why some people end up as victims and others don’t? If so, you will love this simple yet amazing information that explains it all…and a lot of other things you’ve wondered about as well!

Although body language, self-esteem and confidence play a vital role in staying safe from verbal, mental, emotional and physical attack, personality styles have a lot to do with who is most comfortable exhibiting confident body language or having confidence in certain situations.

Four Personality Styles

Analytical Amiable Driver Expressive


We each have one dominant and one secondary personality style. As we grow through life experiences and put into situations, we are forced to develop some characteristics of the other two styles just to get along, keep our job or excel in school, for example.

As you read the styles below, remember we are a “blend” of the styles and all have strengths and weaknesses. Also, life has forced us to soften some of these characteristics. Also, our personality styles change between business and relationships. That’s why someone can be a barracuda at work and ********** at home or vice-versa. That is a whole other (and very interesting)

]]> http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-safety-secrets-is-your-personality-style-putting-you-in-danger-safety-tip-for-women-2/feed/ 0 http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-safety-tip-real-life-story-do-you-have-a-teen-with-too-much-responsibility/ http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-safety-tip-real-life-story-do-you-have-a-teen-with-too-much-responsibility/#comments Sun, 29 Aug 2010 06:58:02 +0000 admin http://www.womens-safety.com/2010/08/womens-safety-tip-real-life-story-do-you-have-a-teen-with-too-much-responsibility/

Parents of teens have the important job of helping their teen take on and grow into responsibility.

If you have a teen, you also want to be aware of the amount of responsibility your teen is given at work. Just like anyone else, a teen may be more or less capable of handling situations than someone else. The shocking real-life story below illustrates the dangerous, (possibly deadly) level of responsibility some employers give to teens.

A 17 year old Illinois girl was hospitalized this week after she was abducted and sexually assaulted while working alone at a sandwich shop at night.

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