As women, we often hand over the responsibility of our own personal safety to others; our significant other, the big dog we’re walking, the police, our employer or our friends; who we let talk us into things we have a bad gut feeling about.

The myth that someone else is going to save you should be packed away with moth balls. Although there are many accounts of someone helping someone in need, think about what decisions were made to put the person in a position of need in the first place. Of course, we sometimes do the right things and end up in an unfavorable situation but more often than not, we put ourselves there based on our false sense of confidence that someone else will take responsibility for our safety.

Real Life Story (Example): I went to an event with my favorite 40+ women’s group. It was a scavenger hunt with four women in each vehicle and a long list of ridiculous things to do and photograph before returning with the best photos to win the event.

I had three bad gut feelings about riding in a car with a virtual stranger (although a nice person and fellow member of the group). I justified my way out of following my gut feelings after several attempts to “adjust” the arrangement so that I would be the driver. Finally, I gave in saying to myself, “Kelly, just be like everyone else for once and stop being so concerned about safety.” That’s a pretty strong statement since I have been a Personal Safety Trainer for over nine years and this situation was just a six months ago.

Reluctantly, but appearing to be as cheery as everyone else, I got in the back seat (didn’t call “shotgun” quick enough) of a three door car without a way to get out unless the driver’s door was already open. (This was the final of three bad gut feelings. The second was that it only had three doors to begin with.) One of the justifications I employed was thinking that if a 40+ gal had been driving for 25 years without getting in an accident, she could certainly be responsible for my safety for four hours.

The first thing the driver did was run a red light and before I could figure a “graceful” way out of the car, she turned across several lanes of oncoming traffic and caused what could have been a fatal accident for all of us!

While the police and fire department were at the accident scene, my co-passengers labored over how to stay in the event with a different driver (me) without “hurting the feelings” of the driver who almost killed us by doing one of the most idiotic things I’ve ever seen in my life for no apparent reason! I became the no-nonsense spokesperson and we changed cars and drivers and had a great day.

The benefit of this situation was that I was writing a book during this time and the book took on a whole new direction because of this event in my life. I rewrote it in two days! Grateful that none of us got hurt and for the inspiration, I always trust my gut feelings and negotiating with them is not an option!

There are numerous situations to illustrate how we give away the responsibility for our safety to others but I thought this simple example was a good one to share. The driver of the car we were in wasn’t an attacker, but how many times to we trust someone we don’t know well with our safety even though we have a bad gut feeling about a situation?

The date **** that occurred in my life as well as the domestic violence relationship I was involved in for two and a half terrifying years stemmed from my bad gut feelings but trusting someone else to “protect me.”

You are totally and completely responsible for your own personal safety. This allows you to keep your power instead of giving it away to someone else. Remember, our survival instinct is that our number one priority is our own safety, even if we are a parent. (That’s why they say to put your oxygen mask on first on the airplane.) Because this is true, think of this: when you trust someone else with your safety, you are automatically demoted to number two instead of number one! So trust your gut feelings and always follow the strong ones or repetitive ones.



By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Women are often targeted by attackers because we make a few common mistakes about personal safety that present us as easy crime victim prospects.

We tend to be accommodating, to a fault We ignore our gut feelings Automatic trust is common with women

A few things to remember as we get into more detail about the common mistakes we make that put us in danger.

Attackers are insecure, have low self-esteem, feel out of control of their own lives and choose to control someone or something else in order to feel powerful again. Attackers look for those who appear weaker than they are (mentally, physically) to attack. Attacks may be verbal, mental, emotional or physical.
Too Accommodating

Women tend to be accommodating because we want people to like us and we enjoy being helpful. Although these traits are not bad they may allow us to be taken advantage of and pushed too far. This is where an attacker, known or unknown to you sees weakness and opportunity.

Solution: Establish and enforce personal boundaries. Know what distance you are willing to go and go no further. This will keep you from giving your power away to someone else.

Ignoring Gut Feelings

As women, we are generally much more in tune with our intuition or gut feelings than men are. However, we also tend to overlook, ignore and justify actions that are not in line with our gut feelings in order to be liked and to be nice.

Solution: Realize gut feelings are survival instincts you were born with. They will always lead you the right way. Follow them.

Automatic Trust

Because women have been raised to be nice and do good things for others, we often trust untrustworthy people automatically. We can all think back to a time we trusted someone and should not have.

Solution: Trust you gut feeling (intuition) without questioning or trying to justify it. It doesn’t have to be logical to be right. You will “feel” if someone is trustworthy or not. A good personal boundary to establish and enforce is, “If it feels wrong, avoid it.”

Although women may be targeted by attackers, these safety tips will help all of us avoid the personal safety mistakes that portray us as good victim prospects.



By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Although there are plenty of awesome, gentlemen around, sometimes we meet one that gives us the creeps. We may even think there is something wrong with us because he keeps telling us he’s a gentleman. I’ve encountered this situation more than a few times and I’m guessing you have to. So let me share some very simple things you can do to determine if it is safe to be around a man. By safe, I mean physically, mentally and emotionally.

Trust that gut feeling If a man tells you that he is a gentleman instead of proving it, he isn’t Enforce your personal boundaries to avoid being near anyone who gives you the creeps
True Story To Illustrate:

I was waiting with a girl friend in a long line for harbor cruise and the man behind us interrupted our conversation to comment on what we’d been talking about. She and I had been discussing the fact that I had to explain to guy why it is polite and appropriate to walk a woman to her car when she’s leaving a club late at night. The guy behind us (we’ll call him Brad), stated that he was a 50 year old gentleman and commented that gentlemen are seemingly rare these days.

As we listened to him, we both got the creeps and so did the other women overhearing the conversation. Brad mentioned several times that he was a gentleman and always followed it with an increasingly inappropriate compliment or comment about women. I decided he was trying to take the curse off of the comments by telling us he was a gentleman.

Finally, with Brad moving closer and closer to my friend, getting in her space, I told him that his comments were inappropriate and that he didn’t seem to be a gentleman at all. That seemed to make him even more enthusiastic about saying off-color comments like how good my friend’s jeans fit and how great she looked at 47. Interspersed were mentions of his wife, which I took as more attempts to remove the curse from his offensive monologue. He would also say, “I’m sorry but,” before he said something that made us uncomfortable.

As a Personal Safety Trainer, I have very solid personal boundaries and am not at all shy about enforcing them. I told him that the more he told us he was a gentleman and apologized the more he seemed like a creep. He started to speak again and I said, “You’re stepping over the line and you need to stop talking right now.” Finally, he shut up. Later on the boat, a couple of women who overheard the conversation complimented me on the way I handled the situation.

This story is a perfect example of the need to trust gut feelings, pay attention to someone’s behavior instead of their words if they don’t match and establish and enforce personal boundaries. Brad is a verbal and mental abuser. Part of what he did by stating that he was a gentleman and apologizing prior to rude comments can be considered crazy-making as in domestic violence situations. This is where the perpetrator makes him or herself out to be the normal one so that the victim thinks they are the one with the problem.

Knowing how to tell a creep from a gentleman is an important safety tip for women!



By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Women’s Safety and the Taser

Personal protection is very important, especially for women. Predators, thieves and stalkers are just some of the people that women need to worry about when they are out. These types of people hide out waiting for the chance to catch a woman alone. The most common places are walking home in both broad daylight and in the dark at night, leaving the grocery store and walking to your car in mall parking lots. While these are not all of the hot spots for foul play they are some of the most common.

Many women think it is hard to protect themselves but the truth is, with the right tools and knowledge, you can scare off dangerous people as mentioned above. One of the most popular tools that women use today are taser guns. These are ideal for any situation and they are easy to conceal so your predator will not be aware that you have it. This makes it better to take him by surprise as he or she will not be expecting this type of response from you.

You need to remember that your attacker will be expecting some sort of fighting response from you so if they are not aware that you have a taser then you can catch the attacker off guard and give yourself a chance to get away to get help. One of the great benefits of taser guns is the fact that you can take down a person that is much larger than you are. You also do not need to be up close in order to taser the person as these taser guns work up to 15 feet away just as well as close contact.

When you taser a person you temporarily immobilize then with an electrical shock. This causes the persons muscles to freeze up and most likely fall down to the ground. These effects of taser guns are not long lasting but it gives you the edge you need to get away. The person being tasered will experience temporary intense pain but keep in mind that this will not last long. It is meant to give you time to get away from your attacker.

Once the taser is turned off, the pain subsides and the person will regain their composure slowly and be back up and moving around again., The movement will be a bit slow at first but it will be just a matter of minutes before he or she is on their feet. There is no real damage done to the person and as mentioned above, once it is turned off, the pain and stress subside rather quickly.

If you are considering getting something for personal protection then look into taser guns. They come in all sorts of shapes and sizes so that they can be used by anyone. Women of all ages, especially seniors would benefit greatly from owning their own personal taser gun. They are easy to conceal and give you instant protection from all sorts of attacker.,



By: Jessie Diamond

About the Author:

Many women as well as a surprising number of men do not know the basics of vehicle maintenance therefore fear being taken advantage of when they have a vehicle problem. The reason I stated “a surprising number of men” is because we tend to think men know about vehicles just based on gender. But with our lives becoming so busy and full, many men don’t have the time or desire or necessity of working on their own vehicles.

Good Shop, Bad Shop

There are a lot of reputable repair shops out there but the bad or unethical ones, introduced to us by news cameras or friends who paid too much for repairs, are the ones that stick in our minds inspiring fear.

The reason an unethical repair shop might rip someone off is that, they know we are dependent upon our vehicles and do whatever is necessary to get fix them. Whatever is necessary may differ drastically between shops.

Empower Yourself With Vehicle Basics

As the daughter of a military airplane mechanic and vehicle mechanic, I want the same empowerment of vehicle knowledge for all women that I’ve been blessed with since I was a little girl.

In this article, you will learn simple, basic steps you can take to not only maintain your vehicle but gain knowledge to give repair shops a heads up that you are not the person to take advantage of. You will also have an opportunity to receive one of my most popular documents to help you further. Sound good? Read on…we’ll take a short journey through what was formerly known as “man land” and make ourselves safer in the process.

You Might Be Asking…Question: How often does my vehicle need to be checked out?

Answer: At least twice per year (exceptions below) and Spring and Fall are great reminders; before extreme heat or cold.

Question: What is the best way to keep my vehicle healthy?

Answer: Learn the basics of what your healthy vehicle should look like so that you can provide health care instead of sick care.

Here are some examples:

tires should be properly inflated (monthly or more often and if vehicle pulls left or right while driving) spare tire should be present, in good condition and properly inflated (your life may depend on it) oil and filter should be changed every 3,000 – 5,000 miles depending on your vehicle model radiator coolant should be present and accounted for, proper level windshield wiper blades should wipe cleanly, may need replacement annually wiper fluid for severe weather or bug season head lights, tail lights, brake lights, turn signals should all work well brakes should be in good condition and quiet brake fluid at proper level transmission fluid present and accounted for at correct level all belts should be in excellent condition and replaced immediately when worn or dry watch for leaks or weird smells
Question: Where should I take my vehicle for these checks?

Answer: Great question! Ask around for referrals, check out reviews online and look before you need something done. If you go to a reputable lube and oil shop for an oil change, they should check tire pressure and condition among other things. Since they do not sell tires, they have no commission incentive to be dishonest. They can check other things too like belts and fluids. You may need to ask and possibly pay a little extra. It is probably worth it. Of course, if your vehicle is under warranty, you can go to the dealership for serious issues (they will probably wash and vacuum it before giving it back but sometimes charge a lot more for simple oil changes, etc.).

You might even look up a high school mechanics shop and arrange for a student to check the simple things, or a friend who can check tires, fluids and simple stuff on the side (at your own risk). I’ve checked many a girlfriend’s vehicle myself and replaced headlights, turn signal bulbs, etc. As the daughter of a mechanic, auto parts super stores are like Disneyland to me! (Don’t tell anyone else that, okay?) Fact: It is truly possible to be a girly girl and still know enough about vehicles to keep you out of avoidable trouble.

Trust Your Gut Feelings

I have to mention this because it is the key to unlock your safer future. (Read my other articles on Women’s Personal Safety Secrets) Remember to trust your gut feelings! If you get the “creeps” in a mechanic’s shop, leave like a tree. If it feels wrong it’s wrong, period! That is why it is good to find someone you trust before you are in a desperate situation.

So, how does it feel to know more about your car, truck, van or SUV? Of course, these are just some basics but that may be all you need. Check out the bonus I created with my dad in the paragraph below. And congratulations, you are now safer and know more about vehicles than many men and most women.



By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Most women lead very different lives from men. While the world can be a dangerous place for both genders, women have to be on guard against ruthless predators who would prey on them simply because they are women. Women are often portrayed as weak and unable to defense themselves. But they do not have to be easy victims. In fact, they do not have to be victims at all. If you are a woman, there are feasible ways to avoid unsafe situations by simply following a few basic safety precautions. These are behaviors that you should avoid in order to stay out of harm’s way.

Too Dependent on Men

Women often underestimate their internal and external strength. They think they can just depend solely on men to protect them from harm and danger. Luckily, women are moving away from this primitive mindset and begin to realize their own strength to protect themselves. They do not have to rely on another person. They are strong enough, quick enough, and smart enough to get themselves out of trouble and even gain the upper hand in difficult circumstances.

Inattentive or Inferior Body Language

While this is a big no-no for the job interview, it is also one that all women should work on to avoid in everyday life. Attackers usually prey on victims of opportunity, and they can pick up such signals like poor body language and insecurity. They understand that women who hold themselves with little confidence are likely to be easy victims. They look for women with low confident to be their victims.

Bad Locations and Poor Timing

There are certain places that a woman should avoid, especially during certain times of the day. Avoid potentially dangerous situations unless it is an emergency is the best way for a woman to protect herself from harm of any kind. That might mean taking the elevator instead of the stairs or catching a ride with a friend instead of walking home late at night. Whatever you have to do to stay safe is worth the trouble because you are worth the effort.

If you are tired of living in fear and you no longer want to feel like a victim, these are some of the situations you should avoid. With better common sense and awareness, women can put themselves in position of strength instead of disadvantages. Take charge of your life and enjoy your independence from fear and being victimized.



By: Darren W Chow

About the Author:

Fellow women, listen up!

We know that everyone needs safety right? Women are often the ones who promote safety at work, at home and with friends. Teens and kids don’t always know they need safety measures and men feel safer than we usually do because of their gender. The truth is, attackers and victims are both male and female.

We can all be approximately 95% safer from creeps and criminals just by learning these Top 5 Women’s Personal Safety Secrets. How? Prevention is 90% awareness. So if you know the five secrets, you can’t help but be at least 5% safer!

The 3 main reasons you haven not heard “The Secrets” before:

The secrets are simple and we tend to make things much more complicated than they need to be – When everyone learns how simple personal safety is, there will be far fewer victims. Most people avoid the topic of personal safety due to fear of acknowledging their vulnerability to crime – Burying our heads in the sand and hoping the subject of crime disappears makes us more likely targets of attackers. The focus of most safety information is negative, random safety tips and ineffective self-defense techniques – Safety must be taught in the positive what to do manner!
Top 5 Women’s Personal Safety Secrets (to share with loved ones)

Understand the “attacker” mindset – The key to knowing where someone is going is to know where they are coming from. Confident body language – Speaking this language can save your life. Your voice is your #1 weapon – Knowing the power in your own voice and how to use it effectively is vital to preventing yourself from becoming a victim. Establish and enforce personal boundaries – Knowing what is acceptable and unacceptable to you before something happens allows you to protect your personal space. Trust your gut feelings above all else – The job of these survival instincts is to keep you alive.

As you can see, each of these five personal safety secrets is very important and may, individually, repel attackers. However, putting them all together and practicing them into habits can provide you with a tremendous amount of safety, peace of mind and empowerment in your daily life.



By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Hand bags are such a fashion statement and we, as women, always have plenty to fill even the largest of bags. But as we carry our fashion statements and line up for sales on the bag we fell in love with, we need to be conscious of the statement we are making to those more interested in snatching them than admiring them.

Why is a larger bag a better purse-snatching target? Obviously, there are thought to be more valuable items in a roomier bag.

After all, we can carry our:

iPod Cell phone Portable DVD player Portable GPS Small laptop Cash Credit Cards Checkbooks and many other things a smaller bag will not allow
Benefits of Small Purses

You always know what you have because you have to clean it out often No need replace expensive make up that went missing in a larger bag No lost receipts Too small to take many credit cards, lessening the loss and hassle if stolen Too small to take checkbooks, which are oh, so easy for thieves to use immediately Absence of shoulder and back/neck pain often accompanying a larger bag Fewer chiropractic visits Easy to set in lap at restaurant or hang onto in a club Streamlines the look Projects simplicity and low-maintenance to men Ease of finding ringing cell phone in time to answer Ease of finding car keys and an excellent purse-snatcher repellent

If attacked by a purse snatcher, thief or mugger, the best thing to do is give up your material possessions. Nothing you own is worth risking your life for. However, if you are still paying on the $1,200 for the bag the creep wants, it may be challenging to give it up, which could cost you your life.

So keep in mind that when it comes to purses and personal safety, size does matter to thieves and women.



By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author:

Despite the dangers in this world, we all have to step outside of our homes at some point in time, unless you want to live a fearful life with no social interaction. Bad things do happen, but the chances are not astronomically high and as long as you use common sense, you can avoid risky situations. As long as you think clearly, remain alert, and follow basic womens safety advice you can protect yourself from danger.

First it’s important to use the “sixth sense.” If you ever feel that something just doesn’t seem normal or for whatever reason you feel uncomfortable on your normal route, leave, go home a different way. Even if it ends up to be nothing, it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Always look confident and never be distracted by cellphones. Predators are looking for the easy target who is either not paying attention or who looks easily intimidated -someone who won’t be willing to fight back.

If taking public transportation, wait for the vehicle in a public area. There is always safety in numbers. Hang out in a coffee shop until your taxi arrives. It’s best to choose the aisle seat in case you need to make a quick exit. Window seats are fun to look out but that also means you’re blocked in. When traveling during non-peak hours by train, choose the compartments with the most passengers sitting in them. For taxis, double check the identification of the driver. If possible, avoid flagging down a taxi on the street. Call for a taxi so it can be traced.

Danger doesn’t only happen when taking public transportation. There are plenty of opportunities for something to go wrong in your very own car. When out and about, always park as close to the store/building as possible. Is a dent in your car really worth the risk? When returning to your vehicle, have your keys already in your hand and check your car before entering. Even if you’re just leaving your car for a moment to run into a store, always lock your doors and roll up your windows.

For women who walk or jog around the neighborhood, regularly change your routine. In your mind mark out “safe houses” of people you either know or public shops you can run into in case of an emergency. In isolated areas it’s best to put away that iPod for a while so you can hear what’s going on around you. Look into personal protection products and consider taking self defense courses. The courses should demonstrate attacks that are likely to occur -so don’t bother with the mixed martial arts class. You want real life scenarios.



By: Mark Etinger

About the Author:

The term “self-defense” is anything but warm and fuzzy though vital to know something about, even if it’s only a little something. Amazingly enough, just knowing a little something can literally save your life or that of a loved one. This topic is extremely important for women because we tend to be the safety advocates for our families, friends and workplaces.

Self-Defense sounds like it has to do with defending ourselves from someone who is physically attacking us, doesn’t it? The fact is, there are types of attacks we endure every day without notice. These wear us down until we physically appear to be good targets for physical attack, but physical attack is not where it starts.

I think January being National Personal Self-Defense Awareness Month is brilliant! It is a time for reflection and revisions and what could be a better time to learn to respect ourselves? The non-physical types of attack are verbal, mental and emotional. So, January, with it’s renewal and new beginnings, is a perfect time to say, “Yes,” to ourselves; “Yes,” to our self-esteem; “Yes,” to our self-awareness and “Yes,” to our self-respect; improving both our mental and emotional well-being; while simultaneously repelling would-be attackers of all types, even physical!

Did you know that approximately 95% of crime can be easily prevented? And as a survivor of **** and domestic violence myself, I know that prevention is much easier than recovery.

So where do I begin for a safer 2009?

You begin on the inside – How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel confident that you are just as good as anyone else or do you feel that other people are better than you? Then you look at people in your life – Who seems to weaken you when you spend time with them? Who strengthens you? Who is present when you feel best about yourself? Now look at how you treat yourself – Do you say “No,” to others when appropriate and realize you’re saying “Yes,” to yourself? Or do you beat yourself up if you don’t help everyone who asks?

That is where you begin for a Safer 2009. Stay tuned, as I go into more detail of where to go from here and you will notice improvements in all aspects of your life when you put these tips into action!

So…self-defense can warm and fuzzy once you learn what it really means and how to use it to your advantage; not just against someone else. The idea is to become so strong mentally and emotionally that no one can tear you down into exhibiting weak body language, the most common “visual” attackers use to select victims.



By: Kelly Rudolph

About the Author: